Love Machine
by NavyBlueWings
Summary: Naruto was tired of seeing girls fawn over his roommate Uchiha Sasuke. So after Naruto makes a bet with Shikamaru, Kiba suggests he hooks him up using the college’s new ‘Soul Mate’ test. Naruto can’t wait! It seems so simple, until...2/3 shot! R and R!
1. Love Machine

**Alright everyone! While I am slaving my way through the second part of 'bite' (which you should all go read and review), I came up with this crazy idea. I'm not exactly sure why I did, but I'll tell you where I got it from. Eating a bag of Doritos. Yup, they just come out of nowhere. But I think you'll see the Doritos reference pretty quickly. I hope you all like it! And yea, I'm doing Naruto's POV again. =P What can I say, I love the little fuzzball! Oh, and if you've noticed a pattern with my supporting characters, I **_**really **_**like using Kiba, Ino and Shikamaru for some reason. Humor I guess.**

**Warning: ****This is a boyxboy fic! It will have a lemon in it somewhere, so you have been warned. If you continue reading, prepare for a nosebleed. Haha just kidding! **

**Disclaimer: ****I do not not not not not NOT own Naruto.**

**Love Machine**

I only regretted one thing in college. No, I didn't mind getting yelled at by Tsunade for pouring alcohol into the water fountain in front of the school. Me and Kiba planned that damn thing for weeks. And no, there was no _way _I'd take back dating that girl that took yoga lessons. She showed me ways of bending that I never even dared to dream off. Even though now I look back at how awkward I was with her, her tricks paid off in the end of all of this. I assure you of that. And plucking Lee's eyebrows while he slept was probably the only reason Sakura ever started to date him. So no, I didn't regret that either. None of the past two years had bothered me, and I would have loved to do them again.

Except one thing.

"Damnit Uchiha! You screwed me out of a hot shower again!" I rubbed the wetness from my naturally spiky hair, which now flopped into my eyesight from the weight of the water. Glaring at the bored guy in front of me, I could only growl. Uchiha Sasuke, age 19. Black hair, black eyes, black heart. Oh, and for some reason, the biggest heart throb in the school. Puhlease. I had known the kid for six years and there was nothing attractive about him in the morning. I should have just taken a picture of it and posted it around the school. That would make his fan club freak.

"Deal with it." Was my roommate's oh so fantastic answer. I should have strangled him right there. It would have made the next three weeks of college so much easier. But instead, I just chucked my towel at his face and stormed over to the bag of Doritos I had snagged from the party the night before. I was amazed that either of us was up before noon, since the party hadn't even ended until three. As it was, I felt my body aching from the wrestling fight me and Kiba had gotten into. The only thing that made it worth it was the fact that Kiba had a black eye by the end of the match. Not that it was intentional or anything…hee hee.

"Next time, I get first shower. You spend way too much time in there, you're like a girl! If I had wanted to room with a chick, I would have signed up for co-ed dorm." But like the idiot that I was, I made the biggest mistake of my college career. I decided to room with Uchiha Sasuke. There were three main reasons I wanted to bunk with the jerk. One, Kiba was already rooming with that lazy ass Shikamaru. The two had known each other when they were kids before Kiba moved to my town. The most unmotivated genius I've ever known, Nara Shikamaru was known for his 200 IQ and his random cloud gazing on campus. We had actually met in our freshman year of college. I had seen how truly smart he was, and asked why he didn't go somewhere like Harvard or Yale. He replied with "this school's got the best lawn to lay on". People didn't know whether to call him a hippie or a prodigy. I just called him lazy. He seemed to respond best to that.

Two, the space. Because Sasuke and I had both gotten in on scholarships, we got the plus of an apartment dorm instead of just a single room. Kiba was pretty pissed about it until we found out that Shikamaru had gotten a room two floors under us. I was just happy that I didn't have to sleep in the same room with Sasuke. Sure we had slept over each other's houses before, but it wasn't every night. That would just be weird.

The last reason was girls. Since Sasuke was a girl magnet in high school, I figured that it'd be a sure way to get girls back to my room. My plan was that when they realized what an asshole the teme was, they'd see me as their knight in shining armor and come running to my bed. I had my eyes set on Haruno Sakura for a while in high school, but she set me straight with an 'I love you like a brother' speech the first week of our college experience. Yea, it hurt my pride more than I wanted to admit. But after some long consideration (and strangely enough, talking to Sasuke till 3 in the morning), I managed to get over it. And now I was a year older, and completely happy for bushy brows to be dating my wanna-be little sister. Plus, I knew that he wasn't going to be making any big moves soon. He was too busy working on our school's rendition of 'Romeo and Juliet'. And you'd never guess who the two main characters were.

It was me and Yamanaka Ino. Yea I know, you really didn't guess huh? Me and Ino had been in the theatre group together since sophomore year, and for some reason, people liked to see us work together. Whether it was a piece from Shakespeare or a comedy from Lee (although, I think he thought they were romantic), we just seemed to click. And it drove Shikamaru crazy. Mainly because he couldn't act his way out of a paper bag, and so he watched the one girl he had been crushing on spend all her time with me. Not that I'd ever take her or anything, I know the man-code. But since I knew how badly Ino wanted Shikamaru to gets the guts to ask her out, I always hammed up our performance when he was around. And you all thought Uzumaki Naruto was a dummy, huh?

"Dobe." Especially one annoying roommate. The roommate who did nothing for me, because the girls were turned on even more by his stupidness. Yes, I had to make up a word to describe him.

"Teme!" I growled back, annoyed with the smirk that fit so nicely on his face. Those pictures were _so _being made into big posters now.

"If you wanted a warm shower, you should have just waited. Not like you have any classes on a Saturday."

"Yea, but unlike you, I have to get to practice while you sit on your ass and do nothing." I said, munching down on my Doritos. The things were actually pretty good considering the nasty taste in my mouth. I knew I should have brushed my teeth before I went to bed. So once I finished off the bag, I headed back into the bathroom to clean my mouth. I could still hear Sasuke's mumble from the other room.

"Because studying to keep my scholarships is nothing. Idiot." Unlike me, Sasuke's scholarships to Konoha University were more…academic. He was pretty smart, something about being a legal genius. I didn't care, since I got a full scholarship from the school for my fine arts talent. And since my goal was to become a theatre teacher, the money was being put to good use. Not only was this my third play at the college, but I was the first male sophomore to get a leading role in one of the plays. I guess despite my goofy personality and amazing charming looks, I was able to pull off some truly ugly characters.

"Whatever. Have fun doing that," I muttered, throwing on my coat when I emerged from the bathroom. I opened the door to the room, glancing back at him from over my shoulder. I hesitated a second, watching his eyebrows crease from the concentration of his studies. The only real thing me and Sasuke had in common was our style of clothing, mainly wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. But his colors were always dark and bland, while mine were bright and flashy. So it came to no surprise to me that the emo kid wore a black hoodie and blue jeans. Just his style.

Despite how much I made fun of him, I could see why some girls could be interested in him. He wasn't _horrible _looking I guess. He had gotten more attractive throughout the years. We all did fill out nicely in the end. And no, I wasn't checking him out. I was just making a friendly observation about my best friend. He had a pale complexion still, and the only really colored part of him was his mouth. He was built lean, like me, and was the average 5'10 in height. Nothing was strange or odd about him. Not like me, with the damn whisker marks on my cheeks. I looked like a fox cub or something! But my friends just say it adds to me.

But his eyes always seemed dangerous, like somehow he could take you out without a second thought. We hardly ever physically fought, because Sasuke never 'stooped to being so childish'. But the one time we did go at it, it wasn't pretty. Sasuke had lost his dad the winter of our sophomore year when his car skidded off of the road and into a frozen lake. The next few days Sasuke didn't come to school, and when I went to his house after the funeral, his mother said he hadn't been home. Sakura was worried sick, and since I was so loyal to her back then (and not because I wanted to make sure Sasuke was okay) I tracked him down at an old baseball field.

It was scary how still he was. If I wasn't an idiot, I probably would have left him alone in the rain. Instead, I sat down next to him and tried to convince him to go back home. He didn't seem to be listening to me, so I grabbed his shoulder. It was my first mistake. My second was thinking Sasuke wouldn't really punch me, even if his fist was flying toward my face. We ended up beating the shit out of each other, wearing our nice dress clothes while rolling around in the rain and mud. He broke my ankle, and helped me limp home after we realized what we were doing. I sliced his face open, and rode with him to the hospital despite the pain in my ankle. It wasn't until they forced him to get stitches did I pass out from the pain. Even now, if he moves his hair, the scar is still there. My ankle sometimes gets sore if I use it too much.

"You want something?" He hadn't even looked up from his damn textbook. It always bugged me that Sasuke was able to tell where or who I was looking at, even without seeing me. Like he could read my actions. Must have been something he carried on from his previous life.

"Since it's my turn to get dinner, what do you want?" Even though I was the more creative of the two, there was one thing that Sasuke was better at than me. Cooking. Every time I even looked at a stove, it would blow up. So we switched off on the weekends, Sasuke cooked Saturdays and I grabbed food for Sundays. That way, I didn't burn the whole dormitory down and I didn't go broke buying take-out every night. The only time we both ate dinner at the dorm room together was the weekends. Otherwise we were running around; me working at the pizza shop down the street or going to play practice, while Sasuke worked as a cashier at the campus bookstore. Go figure the book worm would work there.

"Not ramen." Damnit. I knew I shouldn't have asked him. It was hard enough to get him to eat McDonalds as much as I did. No matter where we went, any restaurant or drive-thru I suggested, Sasuke would always get the healthiest salad, with extra tomato. Yuck. He could tolerate yummy (he called it greasy) food when he had to. But for some reason, he hated Ramen. It didn't even matter what flavor. Said something about how it was a food made to kill. I thought it was pretty damn good myself. And I was in no way, shape or form dying. Maybe it had stunted my growth a little, since I was the smallest of our group. But what was height anyways? It only got in the way of shallow ceilings.

"Fine, jerk. I'll just call you before I head home." I grabbed my theatre bag before I shut the door. Why I even bothered to pay for his rabbit food was a mystery. The only reason I could force myself to remember was the fact that when he did cook, it was really good.

I had barely made it down my flight of stairs to the exit when I noticed a familiar set of girls signing into our building. Oh great, a group of Sasuke's fans were going up. Probably signing up under Sasuke's name again. I should have expected it, since they normally went in groups throughout the weekend in hopes of seeing their 'darling' Sasuke. Gag me with a spoon. Didn't they realize that Sasuke stopped answering the door? Most of the time he tried to get me to answer it, but I stopped after one group of girls knocked me over to get into the room.

"Ha. That'll teach him to use all the water," I mumbled, glancing up to the clock and swearing. Damnit, I was late. Ino was going to have my head on a platter if I didn't get there in five minutes. So running across the entire campus, I forced myself to jog up the auditorium stairs. I pushed the door hard, flinching a bit when I heard it smash into the wall. There was already a permanent indent from all the times I had been late and scared of Ino's wrath. As it was, I could see the blonde glaring up at me from the stage. Waving and laughing weakly, I walked down the aisle before jumping easily onto the stage, pretending nothing was wrong. "Hey Ino wha—"

"Don't you even start Uzumaki Naruto. You are late again! Don't you know that it's rude to keep a lady waiting for you! Especially one as pretty as me." There was only one girl in the entire world I was scared of. And it was Yamanaka Ino when I pissed her off. I could practically see the steam shooting out of her ears. Nobody messed with her. Heck, she could probably beat the wrestling team when she got angry.

"Aw come on Ino, you know I didn't mean to. It's just Uchiha being an ass again. He took forever in the shower today, and I don't think you want me to stink when I lay one on you." I grinned at her wrinkled nose, knowing her disgust was overriding her anger. I had a talent with that specific department.

"You're lucky that I am such a forgiving friend. Otherwise your face would be smashed in right now."

"You're so sweet. Must be why Shikamaru adores you so much." At the mention of our friend, and her mega crush, Ino blushed. Even though she was infamous for scouting out cute boys, Ino didn't date much. She was more of a match maker, and would use her 'abilities' to get her friends together. And if a guy did ask her out, she could always make up an excuse as to why she couldn't date them. They were not tall enough, not small enough, not smart enough, and not cool enough. In other words, they were not _Shikamaru_ enough for her taste.

"You shut up right now Naruto!" I snickered at my partner's reply. It was so painfully obvious that the two had hit it off from the first time they met in our Writing 102 class. Ino was completely irritated with his laziness, and Shikamaru hated how much intelligence she lacked. Still, somehow, the two became really close throughout the class and eventually fell for each other. And they would have been going out, if Shikamaru would open his mouth and ask her. But he was too lazy, and Ino refused to ruin her fairy tale by being the one to ask him. And so, they two danced around the subject to the point where it even made me dizzy.

"Come on Ino, take the initiative already. If you wait for him to make the move, you're gonna be all old and wrinkly when he asks!" She scowled and crossed her arms, quickly shaking her head in refusal.

"No way. That's not how it's supposed to be."

"You two are so irritating!"

"What did you call me?!" I would have smacked myself if I didn't have to avoid Ino's fist, quickly running away from the steaming girl. Great, just what I needed before a practice.

"Ino stop! Fighting isn't the answer!" I sighed in relief when I saw bushy brows walking our way. Rock Lee was a charming, bubbling idiot who had fallen head over heels in love with Sakura the first time she had stepped into his gaze. Promising that he would win her over, he spent all of our freshman year showing her as well as all of us how good-hearted he was. Even though Sakura denied him and pushed him away, Lee never stopped trying to sway her. And so when she finally agreed to a date at the beginning of the year, Sakura found out just how great of a guy Lee really was. And for the last two months, the two had been an item.

"Let them fight Lee, it could be funny to watch." Shikamaru's lazy tone caught Ino's attention, making her drop her intention to kill me in order to watch her not-so-secret crush flop into one of the auditorium chairs.

"Gai sensei will get very angry with us if we let our Juliet kill our Romeo!" I sighed at Lee's odd dedication to our director.

"What's the difference? They kill each other in the end anyways," Shikamaru replied languidly, glancing to Ino from the corner of his eye. Gah the two of them gave me a headache.

"Not before I get my make-out scene!" I said, winking over to Ino. Even though she glared back in reply, I could see the narrowing from the now alert boy in front of us. "I always knew you'd be the death of me Ino."

"You wish! I'm too cute to die with you." Her self confidence amazed me. No wonder she had no problem acting, she had no self hesitancy when she tried it.

"Whatever, you can't handle my awesomeness!" I replied, sending her a thumbs up. Her answer was an eye roll before she continued to read her lines. Sighing, I looked over to Lee and Shikamaru before dropping to the side of the stage. "Man, I don't get girls. Why do they always go to the jerks? I mean, look at Sasuke!"

"Yea, he's the reason we were so late. Troublesome."

"What the heck are you talking about Shika? Sasuke's in our room studying or some boring shit like that."

"Yeah, and his little group of fangirls are blocking the entire hallway. We had to use the back stairs to get out of our dorm. Their love for him knows no bounds!" Lee's news pissed me off. Just when I thought the idiot couldn't get any more popular, he did. Even though people could sign up on their own, only three people could sign under one name. So normally, there were six up in the hallway, giggling and knocking on the door. Three were under his name, and three under mine. But by the way Lee was talking, there had to be many more than that. Great. Now they were signing up under their friend's names to get to Sasuke. This was getting insane!

"When will they stop? The kid is like the George Clooney of Konoha University! He is wanted by every girl in the place, and he dates nobody. It's like he's asexual or something." Well, that wasn't completely true. Sasuke had dated two girls in the past six years. One was in our freshman high school math class named Karin. The other was back during our junior year. He never even bothered to tell me her name, and she was in college so I never got to see her. Not that it really mattered, since he dumped both of them within a week. But still, a _college _girl?! The least he could have done was gotten me some action!

"Well what do you expect? Sasuke's hot for a pale kid. And so long as he's single, he's never going to stop getting fangirls," Ino said, shrugging as she flipped the page of the script.

"What do you mean? He's going to look the same whether he's dating a girl or not." Ino looked at me like I was an idiot. What the hell, didn't she understand that her crazy girl talk was pure gibberish to me?

"Duh. Of course he will. But he'll be a boyfriend. If he has a girlfriend, then she'll be able to ward off all the other girls. After a while, they'll stop bothering him." I let the sentence sink in for a second before an idea popped into my head.

"So all I've gotta do is get Sasuke to go out with one of his fangirls? And I'll be able to live in peace?"

"You can try. But I doubt anything you think of will work. Sasuke won't date one of them." Shikamaru's words floated through the air, making me glare over to him. Of course he would say something like that. Maybe, now looking back at it, Shikamaru knew something I never did. He talked to the bastard more than I thought. But at the moment, I had only seen his taunting smile. Well, maybe it was a grimace. It was too much effort to smile for Shikamaru.

"You don't think I can do it? Well I'll show you!" At my angry protest, I saw Shikamaru rub his temple.

"I don't mea—"

"So you wanna make a bet?"

"No."

"I'll bet you that I can get Sasuke a girlfriend before the last showing of the play!"

"Naruto, that's only three weeks away! Stop being dumb," Ino said, shaking her head. It was obvious that she didn't want my attention to stray away from the play. And if I was anyone else, I might have let it go. But I was Uzumaki Naruto, and I had pride to keep.

" No way. I'm gonna show this genius that he doesn't know everything." I grinned down at Shikamaru, who sighed loudly and closed his eyes.

"Troublesome."

"You're not getting out of it this time Nara! Whoever loses the bet has to answer one wish that the winner wants. And it can be annnnnnything." I stretched out the last word to add emphasis, and maybe a little drama to the whole thing. Hey, what can I say? I AM the theatre king after all.

"Fine. I need someone else to play Shogi with." At the mention of time alone, Ino instantly looked up from her script and blushed.

"I'll play with you Shikamaru!" I didn't think Ino could see it from where she sat, but a red hue was clearly showing up on Shika's face. I'm sure he was thinking the same thing Ino was. Alone time. It was enough to probably start bad thoughts in his head. So instead of giving any indication of just what was racing through his mind, Shikamaru shrugged his shoulders at the hopeful girl.

"Whatever," He mumbled, starting to fall asleep in the seat. Before he could, Asuma sensei hit him hard on the back of the head. I laughed as the normally composed kid stumbled out of his seat, catching himself weakly. Looking back at the older man, Shikamaru sighed and rubbed the spot where he had been struck. "A 'wake-up' could have worked."

"Who are you kidding, you lazy bum? You would have ignored me and you know it. Now come help me with the lighting or else Gai is going to have a stroke." So that's why Shikamaru was here. Since Shikamaru was so horrible at acting, and Ino wouldn't stop it even if her life depended on it, Shikamaru had to find another way into the theatre business. So when Asuma needed someone to help him run the lighting booth last year, we were all surprised that Shikamaru offered to do it. And ever since then, Shika had become sort of like an apprentice for the older guy. Even if he complained about it the entire time, Shikamaru seemed to enjoy working with Asuma. They would either be working on the lighting for the next performance, or they would be in the booth playing Shogi or Go. I never got either game, way too boring for me to pay attention to.

"What a drag." Shikamaru glanced back at me while he was walking up the stairs. "Don't gross me out too much while you practice, or I'll blind you."

"Yea yea, and your little dog too," I replied, waving him off with my hand. I looked up at the clock, seeing that normal practice was going to start soon. "If you wanna run through the scene before anyone gets here Ino, we better do it now."

"Alright Lee, get up here and follow us in the script. Once me and Naruto are done and Shino gets here, I'll run lines with you two." Even though Lee normally worked on the sidelines, Lee got the role of my arch nemesis, Paris. It was pretty funny actually, since at one point, the two of us _did _like the same girl. But once I finally got over Sakura, I was more than happy to give her up to Lee. Bushy brows did make a really good Paris too, despite his normal ranting on love and youth. But he probably got that from--

"Ah! Look at all my students working so hard to get into character. You three are so young, so youthful! You make me feel alive again!" …Him. Looking up at our director, I mentally groaned. Gai sensei was a big man with an even bigger heart. It wasn't that he was bad or anything, he was just really…emotional at times. And Lee idolized him.

"Sensei! It is an honor to work with a man with such talent as yours." I smacked my head and heard Ino groan beside me, watching the two hug in a way that if it was anyone else, would have made them gay. But since it was Lee and Gai sensei, it was just normal business.

"Do you ever stop, look at your life, and wonder what went wrong?" I laughed at Ino's blunt question. Despite her temper issues, Ino was a very funny girl. Especially when she had such good stuff to work with right in front of her.

"Well, my dear, we are Romeo and Juliet. The thought should have passed our minds about three swallows into our poisonous beverage. So, shall we get rid of these common people and kill ourselves lovingly?" I turned to her, bowing while I held my hand out. She smiled and giggled in her 'oh my god I'm so in love with this guy I met 20 seconds ago' voice, placing her hand in mine and letting me pull her to my body. I could see the flowing tears drip from both the pupil and master's face, and I sweat dropped. They really did get into this a whole lot more than I ever thought possible.

"Brilliant! I couldn't have written it better myself! It's in the script now!" Gai's fingers worked the pen hard into his pad of paper, Lee nodding as he clapped.

"Such poetry Romeo, your soul screams with love." Glancing up to Gai, I watched Lee's eyes shimmer in adoration when the director patted his head and gave him a smile so big, I thought I actually saw it sparkle.

"Good work Lee. We'll add that into the script as well."

"You can't change the play! It's Shakespeare!" Me and Ino shouted simultaneously. Was he crazy?!

"Come along Lee! The computer awaits!" Apparently so, because he completely ignored our complaints and walked out of the auditorium. Lee followed happily on his heels. I sighed and hit myself in the head, suddenly dreading what else they would change.

But glancing up at the lighting booth to see Shikamaru watching me and Ino, I felt my confidence block out my previous thoughts. I had the plan perfectly set up. I would get Sasuke to fall for some random girl, and then once I had them going out, the 'genius' would be in my grasp. And what better way to make Ino happy and Shikamaru suffer than to have him ask her out on the last day of our performance? It was brilliant and evil, and yet not when you think of it. Because in the end, the two who would benefit from the whole ordeal would be Ino and Shikamaru. The only thing I was getting out of it was being able to safely enter my room without girls trying to sneak their way in. Not that I would mind if it was for me. But since that wasn't the case, the girls had to go. And I was just the guy to do it.

Oh how right I was.

~**~

"This is impossible." I groaned and smacked my head onto the table I sat at, knowing that the bruise that would form would only add to my stress. It had been exactly one week , two days since I made the bet with Shikamaru, and I was starting to doubt that even someone as great as me could juggle everything at once.

"What's up Naruto? You have to add more than two numbers together?" I glared up at the brunette boy sitting in front of me, who was too busy mowing down on his food to notice. I rubbed the sore spot on my forehead before grabbing my ramen, shoving it into my mouth. And I hoped Sasuke saw it too, for all the damn trouble he had been causing.

"It's just too much. I am barely passing my human geography class, the director keeps changing the play around to the point where I don't even think my name is Romeo now, the girls around my room are starting to set up tents, and I can't get the stupid idiot to even look at a girl for more than a few seconds before he's off shoving his nose into a book! This is driving me insane!" I'm not sure which part of my rant made the funny look on Kiba's face appear, but it was enough to make me smile. Leave it to Inuzuka Kiba to unconsciously make me feel better.

"Okay, so I'm not sure which part scares me more. The fact that girls are camping outside your room, or the part that you're upset about it."

"They're not for me. They're for Sasuke. They even sell t-shirts on the first floor with Sasuke's picture on it." I muttered, stirring the remaining noodles of my ramen around. They never did put enough in the ramen bowls at school. I could eat like, seven, and still be hungry!

"All over emo-boy?"

"Yea, I know! It's something about how he's sexy because he doesn't chase after girls. Their logic doesn't make any sense."

"No kidding. If I saw a girl with my face on her shirt, I'd be freaked out." I rolled my eyes and looked up at him, shaking my head.

"If any girl wanted you, you'd be jumping over buildings to get to her." I smiled when he flicked a French fry at me, easily dodging it. Even though I played around with Kiba, he was better off than me. Kiba had a steady girlfriend named Hinata, who had been going out with dog-breath for a couple months now. The two were pretty cute together, not that I'd ever tell him. After all, we were men, and men didn't call each other cute.

"I don't see you with any following you around." He said, rolling his eyes. I simply shrugged finishing off my second bowl of ramen before talking.

"What can I say? I'm just not looking in the right places then." I jerked my head up when I heard a loud crash behind us. Some girl tripped over herself, knocking into the pile of dirty trays. But while Kiba laughed, I noticed something out of place behind her. There, over her head, was a small set of tables with a big red heart hanging over it. Normally the area was used for fundraisers or student testing, so seeing such bright decoration around it was a bit surprising.

"Hey Kiba, what's with the stand over there? Valentine's day isn't even for another five weeks. Don't you think they're starting a little too early?" I asked. He looked up as well, staring at it blankly for a few seconds before she snapped his fingers. Or tried to at least, since the sauce from his chicken wing stopped the sound.

"Oh! That's the thing Hinata was telling me about earlier. Yea, some language club wants to go on a vacation for a week in spring, so they got a 'Soul Mate Machine' as a fundraiser to get some money for it. That way they don't have to pay as much separately."

"Soul mate?"

"Yea! What you do is give them five bucks and they give you this test that is supposed to determine what type of person you are. You give them the test back and they send it through the machine. The machine is programmed to compare and analyze your personality to come up with the person that best fits you. It then looks at the answers from everyone else in the school, and whoever your soul matches up with, that's who you're supposed to be with in the end. It's actually a really accurate test Hinata was telling me."

"How can they even tell if it's accurate?"

"I thought about that too. But the machine was tested on twenty relationships. Ten of them were picked out from the machine, and ten were already together. The ten that the machine picked ended up staying together even after the few weeks of testing. But this is where the really cool part comes in. For some of the couples that were already together, the machine said they weren't good. In fact, a girl from one relationship and a boy from another were picked to be together. The ones that the machine said would break up did, and those two people hooked up! And they weren't even told about the results!"

"That's awesome!" I stared over at the machine sitting next to the tables in awe. That thing was amazing! Who knew that we could get technology to become that evolved? I was cut away from my musing when Kiba spoke.

"Yea, I bet that thing could get a good match for anyone." My eyes slowly widened at the goldmine that Kiba had struck in my head. That was it. The perfect way to make my plan come true.

"Kiba, give me the fifteen bucks."

"What? Why?" I grinned over to him, and I sure he saw the mischief that was spiraling through my body.

"Because, idiot. I just thought of how to get Sasuke's perfect 'soul mate' to appear out of nowhere. I can just use the machine to do all the hard work for me, and then I just have to find them and get Sasuke to talk to them. It's perfect!" He laughed as I practically jumped in my seat from the excitement. I mean, how often was it that Uzumaki Naruto pulled a fast one on Nara Shikamaru? It was like David and Goliath, and I had just pulled out my lucky sling and rock. Oh yea, that giant was going down!

"Fine, but I told you the test was only five. Why do you want fifteen?" I pulled him with me as I walked over to the tables. I could see that a lot of the Sasuke fanclub were in line, waiting to get their tests. Somehow I doubted that any of them had a chance with Sasuke.

"Because I have to buy one for Sasuke."

"Duh."

"Shut up dog-breath! Or I'll tell everyone, especially Hinata, how you got that name." I watched his face pale slightly at the threat. Of course, having your girlfriend find out you ate dog food while you were piss drunk was probably the best way for all intimate touching to stop. It was even worse when you had pictures. "The other five bucks is for my own test. Sasuke's not going to go for this unless I somehow convince him it's for a class I need. I'll just submit the test and have it sent to your room instead of mine. That way, he'll never know. Plus, if the Uchiha is gonna find him damn soul mate on my money, I better be getting something from it too."

"It's my money you idiot."

"…Same thing!"

"And the last five?"

"I'm still hungry," I said, my stomach growling on command. Laughing and poking my stomach, Kiba grabbed the extra money from me, making me growl. The last thing you wanted to do was get in-between a man and his ramen.

"Calm down killer. I'm not waiting in this line with you; I'm gonna have to do it later with Hinata. I'll grab your ramen so you can eat while we head to psych. The last thing we need to is get caught by Tsunade again when we're supposed to be in class." Sadly, Kiba was right. The last thing we needed was to get into even more trouble with the president of the college. It was pure luck that Tsunade was good friends with my family, and that she happened to be the one who kept my sorry ass from getting kicked out. And for some reason, she took pity on Kiba. Probably thought without him, I'd go crazy or something…yea, right.

"Fine, just hurry up! I'm gonna eat one of the girls up here if I don't get something in me." I laughed as he waved me off, before moving forward and grabbing the papers from the table. Paying for the tests, I looked at them slowly and grinned. These were the tickets to a fangirl free life. And tickets to Shikamaru's horrible defeat, which I would bask in so gloriously. I could hardly wait to see the bastard's face when I got home.

Which meant that the rest of the day went by way too slow. In fact, I think the clocks stopped on purpose a few times just to piss me off. Damn things. But eventually my class was finished and I didn't even wait for Kiba to catch up as I ran to my dorm, so excited to get into my room that I didn't care about the line of girls outside my door. I was actually happy to see them, because it meant that Sasuke was home. I could get my plan started tonight!

"Teme! Where are you?" I shouted, cramming the door shut as several girls tried to keep it open. Damn they were strong when their obsession took hold of them. I think a few of them could have easily snapped me in half if I had stayed out there any longer. But once I locked the door and turned, I saw the bastard watching me from the couch, a textbook laid out on his bare stomach. I would have slapped the stupid smirk off of his face if not for the fact I needed him in the best mood I could possibly have him in. But this was Uchiha Sasuke, so I doubted it would be very much higher than his normal pissy attitude.

"Have fun out there?" He asked slowly, his smirk continuing to grow. Even though I tried to hold my temper back, some slipped out.

"Shut up asshole! The least you could have done was help me out! They were tearing my clothes off to get to you." I glanced down at my torn shirt, which barely clung onto my skin. I hadn't been exaggerating when I said that. They would do anything to get to him! Sighing at the ruined scraps, I threw the rest of the shirt into the trashcan. Luckily I had been in a rush to get home; I didn't even waste time putting my sweatshirt on. If I had, they would have torn the tests apart that lay hidden in my sweatshirt pocket. AND they all would owe me thirty bucks!

I leaned my back against the counter of our kitchen, glancing to him and crossing my arms in anticipation for his reply. To respond to my near death experience, he slid his fingers down his body to grab the book. I don't know why I was so fascinated with the slim finger that pulled the text up to cover his face. Or why I felt a weird shiver coil around my spine when his torso became visible to my eyes. It was something that had been happening a lot the past couple months, but I ignored it. I was guessing it was because he rarely went shirtless around people. Maybe the skin repulsed me or something. Sure, I'd go with that. It made more sense than the other disturbing reason I had thought of.

"Ah." I paused when I realized he hadn't started to read the book, but was glancing up at me over the brim of it. He was hiding the rest of his face from me. Oh! He was feeling guilty for not helping. Ha! Hiding his shame with his book! "That must be a change for you. Normally girls try to run away." Or maybe he was just being a prick.

"You…." I felt my eye twitch in anger, and hit a fist back into the counter to keep from using his face as a punching bag. Why was it he had to be such an ass when I needed something from him?

"What are you doing home anyways? Don't you have practice tonight?" He asked, finally pulling his smoky eyes back down to the book. I took a deep breath to remind myself of the plan, casually walking over to the sweatshirt I had dropped on the ground.

"Gai sensei had to go to a teacher's meeting tonight, so practice got cancelled. That's why we had that practice Sunday. He didn't wanna lose a day because of 'the injustice of the school against youthful art' or whatever," I said, grabbing my tools of destruction before moving toward the teme in waiting. Pushing his feet off of the couch, I sat next to him. He cocked an eyebrow, but said nothing as I leaned a bit closer, looking over his shoulder at the book. I didn't care that we were both half naked or practically touching. Hell, for my scene as Plyades in _The Libation Bearers,_ I was in front of tons of people in a tiny little outfit I was sure my ass was gonna fall out of. But Gai was always 'creative' when it came to costumes. So intimacy wasn't something that ever bothered me.

"Get away." But apparently Sasuke was shy. I rolled my eyes and ignored him, trying to be interested in the anatomy of a pig.

"So…you decided to become a bacon maker?" I asked, looking up at the aggravated face Sasuke was trying to keep hidden. The moment too good to pass up, despite my mind's constant yelling about the plan, I rested my chin onto his shoulder and grinned. "Great! Remind me to come to you when I want some breakfast."

"I'm becoming an archeologist. This is just one of the chapters that's going to be on my test for my science requirement." He jerked his shoulder away from me, causing my head to fall. Not exactly the smartest move on Sasuke's part (ha, Sasuke wasn't smart!) because my arms grabbed the other side of the couch to keep my balance. I could feel his body instantly tense when my stomach brushed along the outside of his thigh, and I had to swallow to keep my blush down. I never expected someone so into academics to have such a lean body. But Sasuke defied all logic, even the type in my head. Currently, my inner Naruto was running into a wall in a panic that my body actually _enjoyed _the feeling of his thigh flexing against my skin. This was getting weird.

"Tests!" I shouted, not caring about the absurd look I got from Sasuke. I needed to get my mind away from anything dangerous and not girl-involved. So I quickly decided that now was the best time to announce my plan. "I need you for a test!"

"What test…?" Damn him. He was looking at me like my upper body wasn't straddling his, and my stomach wasn't rubbing along his thigh whenever I took a breath in. In fact, he seemed to be completely comfortable at the moment. Maybe he had an inner Sasuke too? Now that was a thought that made me laugh. "What's so funny?"

"N-Nothing…just thinking to myself…" I finally forced my body away from Sasuke's to sit back up next to him. No wait, saying it like that sounds like I wanted to be there or something. I mean I…easily persuaded my body to sit away from him. There.

"It's just a personality test. Nothing too hard for even a hard ass like you. I've got to get some different types of people to do it for Psych and I thought 'who do I know that's not charming, handsome, amazing, or talented like me'? And so here we are!" I grinned up at him, trying to ignore the inner voice that was starting to cross off every word that I knew applied to Sasuke. Every adult thought he was polite and charismatic. He picked up almost anything that he tried to learn, including things that should be natural like art and speaking French. I could hardly draw a stick figure or say bonjour. And his body…

Gah. This was turning bad really quick.

"How long is it?" I blinked when I realized he was actually thinking about it. I grabbed one of the tests from the other side of me, holding it up to him and smiling.

"Here, it'll take five minutes tops! It's only about 30 questions, and they're all about you so you should be able to figure it out." He stared at the test silently, and for a few moments fear gripped at me. Was he going to say no? "And…and don't worry. I can't see your answers anyways. Once your done, I have to seal it in an envelope."

"I thought you said this was for a project?" He asked slowly. I had to keep my panicking body from showing just how close it was to blabbing the truth.

"I have to get three tests, but I only have to do an analysis on one. The professor doesn't want us to just slack off and wait until the last day to do all the work, ya know?" I could tell he wasn't exactly buying what I was saying, but he took the test anyways. I refrained from cheering, knowing that would set off his radar immediately. Honestly, he should have been happy with what I was doing! I was getting him the girl of his dreams right here. Oh well, I'd let him thank me at the wedding.

We sat quietly next to each other, both working on our separate tests. I filled it out quickly, slightly wondering how questions about my past or my tastes in food could make a difference in who I was supposed to be with. A couple times I glanced over at Sasuke, and I felt myself almost staring when I got to the only question I hesitated about. It was stupid really, because I knew what I was. The option of being gay shouldn't have even crossed my mind. I had chased after girls since I knew how to run. I looked back at the options, trying to roll my eyes and pretend it wasn't the hardest question of the test. I knew what I was. I knew what I was. I knew…

I checked Bi. Only because if it was _truly _a soul mate test, then it would know that I was straight and wouldn't pick a guy!

"You done?" Oh god. I closed my eyes at a sudden rush of tingles that spread through my body when his deep voice accompanied a warm breath. The duel action made my lips part, but no sound came out. What was happening to me? Was my body that desperate for attention that it would succumb to arousing itself with Sasuke's voice?

"Uh…yea." I mumbled finally, keeping my eyes closed in fear. Or was it expectation? I didn't know, the back of my ear was still warm from the caress of air blown again it. So I kept my head down, trying to make sure my blushing cheeks were unable to be seen by my roommate. I mean come on, how embarrassing would that be?! The last thing I needed was for him—

"Are you blushing, dobe?" …damnit. I opened my eyes to see him crouched in front of me, his knees resting between mine against the edge of the cushion. I wasn't sure what felt worse, the intense blushing he could see, or the sudden stirring of my arousal that he couldn't. He looked so weird, crouched between my legs like that. Like he was going to…

"Wh-What are you doing?!" I quickly shook my head and shoved him, not remembering the glass end table that was placed behind him. I heard him grunt when his bare back made contact before his ass fell to the floor, and my previous embarrassment and anger was gone. Quickly I moved off the couch, crawling over him as the panic I had been keeping inside of me from before suddenly burst. What can I say; my body can only hold so much in.

"Shit are you okay?!" I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him forward, peeking over him to see the deep red mark that was starting to form on his back's pale skin. Before I could stop myself, I grazed my fingers along the mark, pulling back a bit when he hissed.

"Stop touching it, idiot. I'm fine," He grumbled weakly against my shoulder, heating it with his breath. I jumped a bit, expecting the same type of shove. But when he didn't move, I slowly pulled back to look at him. It was weird, but Sasuke wasn't trying to get away. His body was relaxed, and he stared at me the same way he had over the book. Even though we were silent, I felt really…strange. Like somehow, he was able to see inside of me. And the feeling was so intense, that I felt my body shift forwards a bit in nervousness, making my eyes widen. There, in that moment, everything changed.

I knew I had made a noise, whether it was a grunt or moan I couldn't tell. But what I was sure of was the feeling of my body gliding against his, creating the smallest amount of friction between our hips. The movement shocked me. It scared me. Fuck, it aroused me. I closed my eyes to enjoy the lasting few seconds of electricity that went through me. Us. It had to be us, because I felt his body twitch under mine. And knowing his body reacted just as weird as mine made the reality of who I had rubbed against that much harder to swallow.

I wasn't sure my face could handle any more embarrassment, so I quickly moved off of him and snatched the tests from the couch.

"T-Thanks for pulling yourself away from those damn books. I…I owe you one," I mumbled, remembering the whole plan was for Sasuke, and that in fact, he should owe me something. But I kept my mouth shut as I slid the tests into the folder, slowly dropping it onto the end table. I couldn't keep my eyes away from the mark that ran across his back or the gentle movements of the muscle when he pushed to stand up. I was being strange, stranger than I wanted to admit. So instead, I looked to the folder and tried to push away the blood rushing to one particular spot. This whole thing had to be a really freaky dream.

"Whatever," He mumbled, and I heard him stand back up to sit on the couch. I nodded to get my body to move before I grabbed the folder, moving to my room quickly. I didn't trust my voice to say anything else. So I locked myself into my room for the rest of the night. I didn't even listen to my stomach when it started to growl in protest of my confident.

For once, Ramen was not going to solve my problems.

~**~

"They're here!" I shouted as I burst through the door of Kiba's door. If Shikamaru cared, he didn't show it. He simply rolled his eyes and pointed over to Kiba's room from the couch.

"He's in there."

"KIBA! Get your ass out here!!" I grinned over to Shikamaru, holding the returned envelope up for him to see. "You see this? This is going to give me the win!"

"Hm. Whatever." Damn this kid. A house could fall on him and he wouldn't care.

"What the hell are you yelling about Naruto? I think you just woke up people in China." Kiba muttered while opening his door. But once his eyes caught sight of what I held, his interest quickly picked up. "No way."

"It's been three long ass days, but I've finally got the teme!" Okay, that wasn't how I meant to say it. I didn't have Sasuke, because Sasuke wasn't mine. And I didn't want him to be! I think. No, I _know. _None of this would have happened if Sasuke hadn't had his shirt off. And if he hadn't moved. And if he hadn't crept up on me like a snake when I was trying to think! Then we would have never gotten in that position. I wouldn't have been on top of him, and we wouldn't have moved in a way that had made us avoid each other as much as possible.

I knew he wasn't coming into the apartment until later at night to make sure we didn't meet. And for right now, that was fine with me. Hell, I made it twice as easy for him by locking myself in my room whenever I was home. We didn't even eat breakfast together anymore, because he left way earlier than normal and I risked getting in trouble for class by leaving late. The whole scene would have been funny if I had been on the outside looking in. But since I wasn't, I was just waiting until I woke up from it all. And thankfully, the results of the test came back sooner than we thought.

"What did you guys do?" Shikamaru asked, rolling his eyes. I jumped over the couch to sit next to him, starting to tear open Sasuke's letter.

"We got Sasuke to do that soul mate thing without him knowing, and Naruto had the results send to our mailbox since he knows the lock combination." Kiba said, seeming just as pumped for the ripping of the envelope as I was. Because it was more than just a bet now. It was the key to making everything right with Sasuke again. Once he got his girlfriend, we could be best friends again and forget everything that had happened.

"Alright! Let's see who the lucky girl is!" I shouted, tearing the seal from the results. Smirking as I opened the paper, I didn't bother to look as I threw the paper into Shikamaru's face, grinning. "Eat that, Nara!"

"Huh." He stared at the paper for a few seconds, and I already could picture how I was going to make him as Ino out. Maybe I could convince Gai to add a new lazy character that revived Juliet in the end? He had already changed so much, might as well try. But I felt a sensation of dread fill my body when the scowl I was expecting did not show. In fact, something horrible was rising in my stomach when Shikamaru took the energy to muster a full smile and look up at me. "Congratulations."

"What?" I slowly pulled the paper back to myself, Kiba looking over my shoulder. I heard him swear, but I was frozen in place as I read the names on the list.

"What the fuck? That's not possible! That's not right!" My name stopped on the number one name, and every chance of winning this bet suddenly didn't matter. Because…"That's-"

"That's…my name…"

**The end! Well for this part anyways. Oh you should know by now that I can't do one-shots even if I try my damnest. This is going to be a two/three shot story. So it's not done. BUT, the reason it's in 'complete' is because my last fic didn't go as well, and I'm scared I'm losing my touch (But I'm still working on it, for all of you who are reading 'Bite'). So I'm going to leave if up to you guys if you want me to continue. I thought it was a kind of new idea, I haven't read any like it to be honest. So let me know what you think! Oh…and by the way…**

**The next part…is going to be in Sasuke's POV. That's right, we're going into Sasuke's head –winks- So hope you review! **


	2. Soul Mates Suck

…Wow I'm in such shock right now! You all really liked it! Thank you all so much for your reviews, I loved all of them! **Lazy =D **thanks so much for being my first reviewer! And so quickly too! **Demi, Luna, RikaHatake, Gabriel Schwrbrg, Zerofangirl, **and** a rather slytherin griffindor, **You all are so sweet to me! I read all your reviews and like cried! And one of my fav people to hear from, you should know who you are **MasochistandSadist! **You always make it such a nice review. But ANYWAYS, thanks to everyone's reviews, I started writing this the next day! **OH! **And I'm so sorry about Shikamaru's last name, my computer automatically changed it to Naru without me knowing! Since I added that as a real word –sweatdrops-. So here you go, Sasuke's POV. And sorry if it's not too great, Sasuke is a little harder to do than Naruto…

**Warning: ****There is lime in this chapter, and it is with two smexy boys. That's right, be prepared.**

**Disclaimer: ****I do not own anything in this story. But one day….one day….-cackles- **

**Soul Mates Suck**

I hate this teacher. I don't even know why I bother coming to her class; all she does is make stabs at her pathetic marriage while we read Beowulf. If I was her husband, I'd complain too. The woman talks almost as much as the dobe.

Well, as much as he used to. But ever since I took that stupid test for his psychology class, the idiot has been avoiding me. Hn. Shouldn't bother me but it does. Normally I'd be happy that he was leaving me alone. Even though I had known Naruto for six years, he still found new ways to bug the hell out of me. At first I thought he didn't realize it because normally he's too stupid to comprehend why he can't push a pull door. But despite his lack of intelligence, Naruto was able to piss people off easier than anyone I'd ever met. Oh yea, my roommate had such wonderful talent.

"Isn't Sasuke-kun so cute?"

"I love when he wears that black sweatshirt! It's so hot on him." And there they go again. Another reason why I hated going to this class. It was ninety percent girls. I didn't understand how they figured out my schedule, but they had. Maybe Naruto was selling it on eBay for money. I'd ask him, but he was too busy hanging out with Kiba. I swear the two are connected at the hip. It's been like this for six days now, and I'm already getting tired of it. It was a bit strange the first couple days, but I didn't care. Naruto would take his time getting ready for school in order to avoid me, and would lock himself in his room when I came home at night. And after what happened in the living room, I really couldn't blame him.

But then a couple of days into the awkwardness, things just got out of hand. Naruto would practically…no wait; he _did _run from me whenever we saw each other on campus. He was never in the dorm room with me, because he waited outside until I left to go in. And once he heard me return, he'd wait until I went into my room to sprint out of the dorm room. Honestly, he was just being a kid. It wasn't like we had sex or anything. But whenever we did catch eye contact before he ran away, I could always see a mixture of fear and embarrassment in his eyes. Well, the first one I got completely.

Naruto had always had this fear of me, ever since I kicked his ass on some baseball field my dad used to take me to. You wouldn't be able to tell he was scared, because his big mouth was always bragging about beating me up. Still, there were certain things he did that just wreaked fear. Like avoiding my eyes and keeping distance between us. So the night in question, I could tell he was scared. It was just…a different kind of scared. An _aroused _kind of scared, which I had felt pressed to my thigh before the idiot ran away. Typical Naruto. For all his big talking, he sure liked to run away.

And that wouldn't have bothered me, if it wasn't Kiba that he always ran to. The stupid brunette was probably the worst possible choice. Hell, he was the reason Naruto almost got kicked out the school (not that the dobe is lily white either). And now, Kiba got to spend all his time with Naruto. All the time that he used to bother _me_, and bug _me_, and pester _me_, he now spent with _him_. You'd think I'd be happy to get away from the immature teen, huh? And I am, very happy. You would be too if you watched him eat. He's got the manners of a pig. I'm just not happy about him being with Kiba. Why, you ask?

Well that's not your business.

"Oh man, this class sucks." I looked over and rolled my eyes at Shikamaru's groan of protest.

"You've slept the entire time," I said bluntly.

"And I thought when I woke up, it'd be over. What a drag."

"Hn." You'd think that me and Shikamaru wouldn't get along very well, since our goals in life were completely different. I planned to make a name of myself, and show everyone I was better than my older brother Itachi. The only reason he was known was because he helped some freak named Orochimaru create a 'clone'. It shouldn't have even counted, since the guy's DNA they took was dead, and the kid just started to act like the deceased man. I don't get how they bent that into being a clone, but they did. So I wanted to become an archeologist because I wouldn't have to deal with living people, and it was the most different thing I could find from being a doctor like him. He tried to 'help' people, while I studies their bones once they died.

Nara, on the other hand, was perfectly fine being a nobody. He once told me that all he wanted out of life was to be average. It was why he never tried in college. He said the laziness balanced out his intelligence, and made him average. Except he was the second most known sophomore of our class (don't even ask me whose first, idiot), and probably still had the highest grades despite his efforts not to care. So most of the time, he had to sleep through tests to get low grades on them. And he only could do that every so often, or else Asuma sensai would beat some sense into him. I wasn't sure if that was legal, but I didn't get into it. It was Shikamaru's fault anyways.

"You wanna grab lunch and eat on Boyden hill?" I shrugged and grabbed my messenger bag, slinging it over my shoulder before I followed Shikamaru out of the classroom. I knew that the girls from before were following us, but I ignored them. I had gotten pretty good at it, since I had dealt with fangirls since I was young. I used to think being rude and insulting them would help them understand I had no interest. But they were as dense as Naruto. Then the idea of dating one of them so the others would stop bothering me came up. I made an 'effort', and hated it. So after two tries, I decided the easiest way to stand them was to pretend they weren't there. Oh, and to make Naruto deal with them of course. That was always a pleasure to watch.

"I should have just become a mailman or something."

"That requires walking."

"You always have to rain on my parade Uchiha." I shrugged and took a bite out of my apple, not bothering to buy a lunch. Most of the salads were good here, but they never had enough tomatoes. So I just bought fruit until I get home, since I only had one class after me and Shikamaru's lit. class. "I wish I could get paid to play Shogi."

"Why, the only one you ever let play with you is Asuma. That'd get boring to watch."

"I tried playing with Ino. She's worse than I ever thought possible. It's such a drag playing with her." I arched an eyebrow at his complaint. Normally Shikamaru only allowed Asuma to play because anybody else lacked the ability to strategize. I might have been offended if not for the fact that Shogi seemed like the most boring game I'd ever seen. But if it kept the genius entertained, then there was no way Shikamaru thought Ino would be an actual opponent.

"You invited her?"

"She invited herself."

"And you let her."

"It makes her happy." Well, at least he wasn't selfish. I must have smirked because Shikamaru sighed and fell onto his back, staring up at the passing by clouds. "Eat your apple."

"Hn."

"So how's Naruto?" Should have known that was coming. Shikamaru was the only person I had ever told that I was gay. Not really sure why it happened, or how we even got onto the topic. I think he probably suggested it, because he didn't seem surprised at my confirmation. The kid was intelligent despite his attempts to hide it. The only thing he had ever been wrong about was the constant accusation that I would waste my time on the dobe.

When I had told him about my sexual preference a year ago, he had the impudence to ask me when I planned to ask Naruto out. Pushing aside the fact that Naruto was a skirt chaser, I had never bothered to look at him in that way. That is, until Shikamaru made me think about the dobe in a sexual way. I had (unwillingly) started to notice that Naruto had grown up and filled out nicely. It wasn't like I could really stop my physical feelings, since Shikamaru always hinted at them or Naruto walked around without his shirt on. And it was especially hard after what had happened between us last week.

"Avoiding the subject?"

"Simply asking about our friend." Even though he didn't look at me, I knew he was watching for a reaction. If there was one thing that Shikamaru was good at, it was reading people. Maybe it was what he did when everyone thought was wasn't paying attention. But he knew everyone's weaknesses, and what could easily set them off. I, however, did not let him win so easily.

"I haven't seen him around. The dobe is off with your roommate."

"Hm. Well it's no wonder. The results probably scared him." That caught my attention. Much more than I showed him I'm sure.

"Results?" I asked slowly, not bothering to turn my head toward him. Our talks hardly ever had eye-contact. It wasn't needed.

"Yup."

"Why would any results bother Naruto? Unless they're his finals." In which case the panic would make perfect sense, since he didn't even bother to open up the text books that lay in the back of his closet. The dobe only remembered he had attend class when he was in plays, because he had to maintain his grades to stay in the school. But finals weren't for another two weeks, right before the winter break. So they couldn't be his grades.

"I've said enough. Anymore and I'll be considered 'involved'. Too troublesome." He sighed and pushed himself up, popping the last of his food into his mouth before he lugged himself to his feet. "Kiba's got a class. I'm guessing if you want answers, Naruto will be home."

"Can't . Got communications." I watched him shrug and grab his bag, which he barely held over the ground. If he didn't have his laptop in there, I doubted he would have even lifted it.

"Your issue. I'm going home to take a nap." Didn't he just sleep through lit class? Whatever. Even if I had wanted to stop the lazy guy, he wouldn't have listened. So why bother wasting my breath?

If I was Naruto, however, I'd be ranting like an idiot. And speaking of the little blonde, I had to go find out what results Shikamaru was talking about. Not because it gave me an excuse to talk to him, but because if it involved our living space in any way, I had a right to know. Anything that concerned my roommate that may cause some type of damage or dysfunction in my living space, I needed to know about. And so with that in mind, I decided that my communication teacher was a female, and I could skip the class once and get away with it. Hopefully she had an Uchiha crush too.

Plus, the only way to catch Uzumaki Naruto when he didn't want to be found was to confuse him. Even if he was an idiot, his panic made him twice as fast. Any time he saw me he would run. The only way to stop the idiot would be to kill him or corner him. One would be more pleasurable, but the other was legal. Whatever, he wasn't worth the jail time.

But with his thinking, he'd never assume I'd ditch a class. That was his forte. So it was no surprise to me when I heard the loud music blaring from the other side of our door. He didn't expect me for a while, and that would make the surprise part easier. I sighed and started to unlock the door, knowing the music would hide any noise I made. Stupid dobe, going to blow his eardrums out with th—

Hn. I knew there was a reason I never skipped class. Because when I did things like Naruto, I got punished. There in front of me, Naruto was dancing. But no, the punishment didn't stop there. Besides the awkwardly erotic swaying of my roommate's hips, he was half naked. As in, to clarify for people who also have blood rushing south, the little blonde idiot was running around in a pair of orange boxers. They hardly hid his body, and the sweat from his intense moving was following the paths created by his morning work-outs. It was enough to make my mind blank for a second.

But I allowed my weakness to catch me for only a moment before I scanned the kitchen that he was dancing in. Half filled cartons of Chinese food were strewn on the table. Lo mein noodles were creeping their way from the cardboard jail cell to drip onto the kitchen table. I could see the sticks from the order of beef teriyaki sitting next to the box of seasoned spare ribs. The fatty food should have made me feel sick, but it was the only type of fast food that I was forced to try, since the place Naruto ordered from didn't make salads. And after the dobe practically shoved the food into my mouth, I came to the unpleasant realization that I liked the taste. So much so that when Naruto was in the mood for it, I didn't put up a fight.

I sighed and turned my attention back to my half naked interest, only to find deep blue eyes glaring at me. The whole attempt was pathetic, since his blush counteracted any type of fear he wanted me to feel. Not that the blush made a difference, since I was not scared of such a scrawny boy.

"Sa-Sasuke! You're not supposed to be home, you're supposed to be in class!" I could barely hear him over the stereo, which still played overpowering music. So calmly I walked over to the machine, pulling the plug out. He must not have been aware of what my actions were, because he still continued to yell. "You're going to get in big trouble!"

"Shut up dobe. Anyone who tries to argue in their boxers is pathetic." Hm, guess red really did look good on blondes, because Naruto's cheeks were painted with color while he tried to cover himself. It was very amusing to see someone so careless get embarrassed. So while he stuttered a reply, I moved into the kitchen with him.

"Y-You're just jealous of my amazing body!" I arched an eyebrow when my roommate backed himself into the counter on the opposite side of the room. He wouldn't meet my eyes, and his fidgeting was starting to become extremely obvious.

"Hardly," I replied, rolling my eyes before sitting down at the table. Glancing around at the food in front of me, I dug into one of the cartons, pulling the stick of beef teriyaki to my lips to eat. I was hungry from before, and all this food was starting to be as tempting as the boxered blond who was fuming.

"Get out of my food you asshole!"

"No." It felt good to fight with him again. Sometimes it was more of a stress reliever than builder to argue with the dobe, because he hardly made sense in his reasoning. So listening to him try to prove a point he had no evidence for whatsoever was one of the more interesting parts of living with him. Sometimes it was obvious he was only arguing that point because I was on the opposing side.

"I paid for that, it's mine! Now give it back!" He seemed to forget his previous space issue because he stormed over to me and snatched the food in my hand.

"You owe me from last week. You never did bring dinner home," I replied, dipping my fingers into another box to pull out a sparerib. Normally using my fingers would not be an option, but the bubbling anger that practically floated around Naruto was too enjoyable to leave. He growled and I smirked, parting my lips to eat the small piece of food. But his next threat caught my interest.

"Give it back before I take it from you!" It was a challenge I couldn't help but take.

"You can try," I mumbled before placing half of the food into my mouth, leaving the other part to dangle between my lips. The shock of calling his bluff was evident in the widening of his eyes. Naruto rarely thought about what he said before he opened his mouth. It was normally because his mind was too slow to catch up until after he had gotten himself into a sticky situation. So I briefly wondered what excuse he'd think of this time to get out of it. Maybe he would just get angry and storm off. Or maybe he'd stand there and mumble to himself. Either way, I still could eat.

"Fine." My thoughts stopped. Fine? Uzumaki Naruto, a teen known for his perverted straightness, agreed to eat food from my mouth? The teenager who had been avoiding all contact with me was now in front of me, bracing his hands on the back of my chair and staring down at me with the darkest blush he had ever made. But his pride must have been driving him, because he leaned down until his mouth hovered over mine. I stared up at him stoically, despite the random skip in my heart beat. Naruto was a friend, an idiot, and straight. None of those things should have made my body start to respond to the heated breath that brushed my cheeks.

At first, we didn't touch. It was expected from him, since to a straight guy, kissing a guy was not on the top of their lists. He didn't turn his gaze away, but narrowed it when he succeeded in grabbing the meat tighter with his teeth, pulling back a bit. When I saw him swallow a small part of the food, I mentally sighed. Well, that was boring. I had already eaten the part that was in my mouth, and the rest I doubted Naruto was going to even look at. And now that he had pulled away, I could feel the air return to my lungs. Don't get the wrong idea; the dobe did not make my breath catch. I had my own reasons for doing it. And now that Naruto had pleased his pride, I could eat in peace.

But before I could pull the remaining part into my mouth, Naruto's mouth was back, lightly skimming mine. I was not surprised, and my lips' suddenly lacking pressure on the sparerib did not prove that. It hit the ground only after I had tugged the dobe down into a kiss. He made it impossible to fight, despite the knowledge of who he was. It was his fault. He brushed too close to the fire. It was only a matter of time before the fire returned the favor. So when he fell into my lap on the chair, I didn't bother to care. Instead I took advantage of his mouth's parted surprise to deepen our exploration with my tongue.

Yes. I said we. Because despite whatever his mind was thinking, his mouth was acting with mine. Maybe it was primal, and sexual preference didn't matter to his need of contact. I didn't care. What I did find interesting were the soft whines that pressed into my mouth. Apparently his need hadn't been taken care of in quite some time. So being a helpful roommate, I answered his body's call with my tongue. Sure, his mind should have realized what was going on. But let's be serious. This was Naruto we were talking about, and despite the surprisingly erotic motion of his tongue searching my mouth; his mind did not work as well. If it even worked at all.

Well I knew something was working quite well. That certain part was starting to twitch against my stomach, making me smirk into the kiss. So Naruto wasn't as straight as he wanted to pretend. Now _that _was interesting. And it would have been quite more rewarding if Naruto's ass didn't jerk back against me, reminding me that it took two to tango. Hn. He was still worse though. At least I was gay. I absentmindedly ran my fingers into his hair, pulling his mouth closer to mind when I found that the dobe enjoyed close contact. His arousal was rubbing between our stomachs, and I could feel the shivers that were moving through him. That was not arousing. It was probably the rubbing of his tongue against mine that caused me to grunt. Because I shouldn't care about what he felt.

Alright, time to end this before the dobe did something he regretted. The last thing I needed to be accused of was sexually harassing someone as stupid as him. The courts would probably take one look at me and realize I wasn't dumb or weak enough to let the blonde take advantage of me. I pushed my hand between our bodies, ignoring what I knew must be a painful problem for him in order to slide my fingers along his torso. I made sure to press my palm into the skin, where the roughness couldn't be mistaken for a girl's touch. There was a second between his body tensing and his fist meeting my left cheek. Despite his looks, Naruto's left hook was enough to jerk my head to the side.

"What the hell Sasuke?!" He shouted loudly. Should have expected that. As composed as I could be, I turned my head back toward him and arched an eyebrow, making sure to press my lips together to scowl. His eyes darted toward them for a moment before he blushed, shaking his head. The dobe was not straight at all, no matter what he told his friends.

"If you're going to yell about what just happened, I suggest you get a hold of your body and get off of me," I said slowly, narrowing my eyes. Leave it to him to punch me and yell like an idiot while his erection still dug into my stomach. I looked away when he swore and stumbled off of me, turning away from me. As if when he showed me his back, I would randomly forget about his active friend making a tent in his boxers. I knew I wasn't too much better, that my breathing was a little too heavy to hide. So I straightened my back against the chair and watched him run his fingers through his soft blonde hair. And I would know, having just experienced the strange texture a few moments before.

"Alright…alright, let's be adult about this…" Was he talking to me? Because I wasn't sure. So I didn't answer, boringly glancing around the kitchen. Huh, one of the blinds was broken. Probably from Naruto's previous dancing. Knowing him, he didn't even realize he broke it. Well, there was a Sears somewhere around here; I'd just drive up with him after his practice Saturday. "Are you listening to me?!"

"Did you say something worth paying attention to?" I asked, arching an eyebrow. His fists clenched on either side of his body, and I could tell he wanted to hit me again. But the fear of coming closer while his body was still obviously awake was keeping him away. This was pointless. Not wanting to waste any more time with him, I stood up and pushed my chair in. "Dobe, let it go. I won't tell anyone."

"T-There's nothing to tell! You kissed me!"

"You pressed your lips to mine first. Therefore, you initiated it." His mouth looked like a fish, opening and shutting with no words coming out. I sighed and started to clean up the food, knowing that Naruto would rather leave it on the floor than have to do work.

"I wanted the food in your mouth."

"Okay." But I knew my look of disbelief was apparent while I shut the refrigerator door. If he wanted to cling to the idea that he was perfectly straight, and that somehow I had forced his body to become aroused without any effort on his part, fine. It wasn't like I enjoyed it. I walked toward the exit of the kitchen, randomly remembering the reason I had skipped class was to ask him a question. "Hey. What results did you get?"

"Results? You're talking about dumb test results after what just happened?!"

"Yes." I turned back to look at him, leaning my arms up on the doorframe. Here I was, trying to be the bigger guy by ignoring what my body wanted me to do, and he kept going to back to it. "The results of what test? And how am I involved?"

By the way he looked around the room to evade me made it obvious that he was uncomfortable. Not like I cared. I just wanted to know why he kept avoiding me, when apparently his body had no issues with close contact. I guess that may have been a part of the problem. It didn't matter either way, I just wanted to know.

"It's none of your business! How did you find out anyways?"

"Shikamaru. Does it matter?"

"Yes! I'm going to kill him the next time I see him! Telling you about our results without even getting permission." Now this was starting to get irritating. My mind set on knowing what 'we' got, I narrowed my eyes and walked toward him. Sure he was probably faster than me, but he had backed himself into the corner of the counter. I quickly blocked his punch that was aimed at my head, holding onto the fist tightly as I stared down at him. Feeling my patience disappear, I pressed out bodies together against the counter. The only way he was going to talk was if I forced it out of him. A shiver crept through my spine as an evil idea came to me. Sure I'd have to stomach some unwanted contact with the dobe, but seeing how he stubbornly shook his head made me realize that verbal negotiations wasn't going to cut it.

"I'll give you one last chance to tell me what these results are. You may say no now, but I promise that won't last for long." I made sure to keep my eyes on him, feeling his body tense form the concentrated glare.

"Ge-Get off me teme…get off!" He struggled against my hold when I grabbed his other hand twisting them behind his back and pressing his stomach to the counter. Before he could jerk away I moved my chest to his back, the pressure keeping him almost completely immobile. To be honest, I had only planned on threatening to tell Kiba about Naruto's experimenting. The quick movements were to keep him from trying to hit me during the forced admission. But the dobe had to be a squirmer. Quickly I realized that it may have been a mistake to have Naruto's ass against my hips. The mistake was confirmed when he started to buck back to get away, unintentionally rubbing against my still semi-aroused body. I gritted my teeth behind closed lips to keep from showing Naruto, who hadn't stopped his persistent rocking. This had to stop fast.

"Tell me what you're hiding from me." Maybe I deliberately breathed against the back of his ear. I had noticed on several occasions that he had a thing for his ears. So feeling his shuddering underneath my body almost made the task of hiding my hardening issue worth it. Feeling a sudden need to get away from him, I pressed the matter again. "Naruto, say it."

"N-No way. Fuck off." When did he get that breathiness in his voice? For a 'straight' kid, he sure didn't seem to care about my lips brushing his ear. In fact, despite the ache it caused his bent arms, his back arched in a way that brought his skin back in contact with my lips. His weak attempts to escape from before had all but stopped as he panted, shutting his eyes tightly. I stared at his face over his shoulder before scoffing.

"You could at least act a little more disgusted." I didn't give him time to protest before my instincts kicked in. I was known for my intelligence and maturity among my peers. And most people who heard the last name Uchiha knew that we were well-mannered and taught self-restraint before anything else. But the shifting of this _idiot _underneath me was more than my body wanted to handle. So ignoring the rational side that would had simply blackmailed him, I convinced myself of another immediate solution to his insubordination.

Keeping one hand locked around his small wrists, I slid the other around to greet the bare muscles of my roommate. The softness of the touch made him tense and struggle again, shaking his head. Still he hadn't protested verbally, and his hips were rocking into the counter instead of away from it. I knew there was no going back when I heard a muffled groan from the brushing of his nipples. You would expect him to fight back, huh? He was being molested in his own kitchen, by his roommate. You would doubt that the 'great Uzumaki Naruto' would ever arch into a male's touch. But he did, and it brought a strange sense of pride into my stomach.

The lines of boundaries and sexuality were gone. I let his hands go, half knowing they would grab onto the counter rather than become a threat. Typical Naruto sought physical satisfaction before mental. It was why he always punched or kicked before he asked a question. Why he could hug someone and congratulate them before even hearing what the good news was about. Why his hips ground so pathetically against my questing fingers while I stood behind him in uneasiness. Sure Naruto was that type of person, but why was I helping him get that release? I didn't gain much from letting my fingers glide against the velvet skin of his concealed member. Except for the attractive sounds that were being panted into my ear.

And maybe the idiot's body wasn't half bad. I mean, I'd seen worse. His hair was starting to stick to his face from the sweat accumulating along his skin. I didn't think he realized his head was leaned back on my shoulder, or that his knuckles had turned white from grabbing onto the counter. His eyes were still closed while his lips parted in pleading whines. He sure was a needy dobe. The pulse of his neck called to my mouth, and I distracted myself from my thoughts about his handsomeness by licking the spot. My fingers curled and stroked along his cock, rubbing the pad of my thumb against his slit every few caresses. He seemed to appreciate it, because his back arched and his ass jerked back hard into me. It was only then I realized the heavy breathing was coming from both of us, and that my other hand was sliding down his arm to capture one of his wrists. I wasn't going to let him be greedy.

I thought, while I struggled to unbutton my pants while continuing to give Naruto a hand job, that he would be more resistant to touch me. I mean, pretending your girl is touching your dick is a lot easier than pretending your girl has a dick. So maybe I did hesitate a bit to return my hand to the wrist I had left on my stomach. But then, at soon at my fingers brushed his skin, I realized he didn't need to be forced. Hn. Maybe he wasn't so clueless after all. Because once I felt his clammy fingers clamp around my arousal, I bit his shoulder. I didn't care if I hurt him; nothing was going to make me moan. Especially not a novice like Naruto stroking my shaft like he had done it for years. I guess if my mind wasn't clouded, I'd realize that a hand job and masturbation are practically the same thing.

After that, it was a free for all. I moved my fingers in time with his thrusts, while trying to keep my own body from succumbing to the need of grinding into his rough palm. He scraped the coarse skin across my tip, and I grunted from the intense pleasure. Our positioning was strange, and I knew his wrist was twisted in a weird angle while it fucked me. But nobody said I wasn't selfish, and getting both of us to cum became the top priority. It didn't matter if Naruto randomly shouted out everything I had wanted to know, I wouldn't have stopped. Did he realize his lips were sucking against my neck? He'd see it tomorrow from the force he was using. Feeling I needed to return the favor, I grabbed a mouthful of skin from his shoulder and sucked, my other hand outlining his ear while I worked.

"Da-damn…'Su-suke.." Suddenly, his body tensed. He shouted loud enough that anyone outside would have been worried if not for the fact that Naruto was loud normally. My grunt of his name was quieter, pressed against his skin when I felt the cum shoot against his fingers and the inside of my boxers. It was the most startling orgasm I had ever had, because I wasn't ready for it. But hearing the undeniable moan of my name had trigged the last restraint I had inside of me. And now minutes later, my body still shaking from the orgasm he forced from it, I glanced over his shoulder to watch the remains of his climax drip down his leg and onto the floor. It was the perfect opportunity to make a remark about how weak he looked leaning against me for support, but I didn't. Maybe because I wasn't sure exactly what had just happened between two best friends, one straight and one gay, during an argument over test results. Trying to get my mind off of it, I reached over him to snag a few paper towels, tossing one to him while I cleaned up my lower body.

"Fuck…" Suddenly the blonde lump was pushing away from me, staggering a bit on legs I was positive weren't ready to hold him yet. He fell into the seat at the table, wiping the saliva from our earlier play away from his mouth. I turned and leaned back against the counter, staring at him in silence. I could tell he was reliving the past few minutes, staring at his feet while his forehead rested in his hand. "Fuck!"

"You said that already."

"I know that teme!" He snapped out, glaring up at me. I shrugged and looked back at the broken blind, questioning if anyone from the other dormitory had seen us.

"Hn."

"This is your fault." I sighed and rolled my eyes. Sure, we could say that. We could also say this whole thing started because Naruto had kissed me at the beginning of this eventful evening. But by the way he growled out the statement, I decided to let him live in his delusional world.

"Fine. You're still picking up your mess," I muttered, glancing down at the cum spot for emphasis. He flushed and jumped from the chair, the full affects of what happened finally catching up to him.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You…you can't just jump people like that! Telling me you want the test results and using it as a way to get in my pants! You're a pervert, Uchiha Sasuke." I glared up at him before pushed from the counter, moving to stand in front of him.

"I didn't force you to respond. You did that on your own. I may be a prick, but I didn't rape you." That was the last thing that I had on my mind when I had entered the dorm room an hour ago. He seemed to understand my harsh tone because he sighed and nodded.

"I know you didn't _rape _me. I never said you did. I just…" Naruto took a deep breath, which seemed to do nothing because his voice still shook as he continued. "This is just really messed up. I mean cool, I knew you were gay, that's great, but I did—" Hold on. Did he just say he _knew?_

"How?"

"Huh?"

"How did you know, dobe." Suddenly, he seemed to understand his blunder because he crossed his arms in a way to keep something between us. This kid was too predictable.

"You..told me."

"No, I didn't."

"Yea you did! You just…uh…didn't know you did." I stared at him while he tried to laugh. Suddenly the warmth from my afterglow was being rapidly destroyed by the same person who created it.

"You read the test answers, didn't you?" I growled out, with much more anger than I wanted to show. But if I was being completely honest, I would have had my hands around his neck and he'd be turning blue right now.

"No! I didn't! The results just gave me a guy!"

"You better start explaining yourself Uzumaki, and I mean now."

"Okay Okay! So the test wasn't really for any psych class. It was…a….a 'soul mate' test." Oh you have got to be joking. I knew exactly what he was talking about. Some group had tried to get me to sit at the table so more girls would try it out in hopes of getting my name. Of course, I didn't want to fill it out because of my sexuality, and so I had said no. The whole idea of a 'soul mate' was stupid, and I should have known as soon as Naruto passed me that paper that he would take the thing seriously."It was like, five bucks in the campus center lunch room."

"What possessed you to do this?"

"Well it's just…grr I'm just so _sick _of being bombarded by your stupid fangirls every time I try to get into our room! So Ino told me—"

"Why would you listen to Ino about anything?" I asked, crossing my arms. Out of all the people to get advice from, that girl had no clue what she was talking about. It was no wonder she got the part of Juliet, the dumb woman who let her boyfriend convince her to bury herself alive, pretending to be dead, and then got her killed in the end. Nice research Naruto.

"Well just shut up and listen! She's the only girl I talk to besides Sakura, and she gets all crazy when you mention 'Sasuke fangirls' since she used to be one. So when Ino told me that you just needed to get a girlfriend, I thought it'd be so easy because they all swarm you. But you've got an icicle up your ass that I forgot about." Because me being gay didn't play a part in my decision to stay away from girls. No, had to be an icicle. "So then Kiba came up with this idea."

"No wonder this is how it ended. You asked Ino and Kiba. Add you into the mix, and it's the three stooges reincarnated."

"Well how were we to know that you batted for the other team!? It wasn't until a…a guy's name came up that we realized it," He mumbled, oddly blushing at something that shouldn't of bothered him.

"What guy?"

"I'm not telling you! You go find him on your own time! A-And you owe me five bucks!" He quickly turned and moved to leave the room, but grabbing his wrist was an effective way to stop him. Still he didn't turn around, muttering out a quick protest. "Let me go."

"Do I know this person?" Maybe I never noticed before, but making Naruto blush was a lot more fun than getting him angry. Because in the end, he got angry anyways and it just doubled my pleasure. Slowly I started to pull him back as I continued to guess. "Is he one of our friends?"

"Like any of our friends are gay."

"So you say." There's the glare. Taking advantage of his look, I jerked him hard enough to make him stumble in front of me. When he threw his head up to talk my ear off, I locked my gaze with his. "You took that test too, didn't you?"

"Y-yea! How else was I going to convince you? And I would have gotten away with it too, if Shikamaru didn't open his lazy mouth."

" So then who did you get?" I held back a grin when his eyes widened in panic. This was starting to get interesting. Did Naruto know he wasn't straight before we took the test?

"W-what?"

"You said you weren't going to tell me my results. Tell me yours then."

"Why? So you can take my girl from me? No way!" So he did get a girl. So much for my theory. Not that I should have cared really, because the test was fake anyways.

"I'm not going after your girl. So who was it?" I asked, getting another glare from him. Fine, if he wanted to be a child, I'd do this the hard way. Turning away from him, I casually walked out of the kitchen and pushed into his room, glancing around. I heard him shout from behind me, but I ignored it when grabbing the envelope he had put our tests in. I avoided his tackle before I moved out of the room, shaking my head. For someone who was so secretive about these things, he sure did a horrible job hiding them.

"Don't open that! It's my mail, I can have you arrested!" Naruto shouted, fumbling back into the living room. I didn't really pay attention to him because I knew he'd never do that. I was the jerk, remember? So I pulled open the yellow envelop before sliding the papers out, starting to unfold them while Naruto's voice grew in panic. "T-That doesn't mean anything teme! I-It's just a stupid te-test!"

"You got me?" I slowly looked up at him, watching him growl and grab the letter from my hands. Quickly he ripped it up, tossing it to the ground and stomping on it hard. Well someone had anger issues.

"This means nothing Sasuke! Why anyone would want to be with a jerk like you anyways? I just put bi-sexual because I thought the test would realize I was straight and get me my soul mate, but it just spit out your name!"

"So then…there's no girl?" I asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Do you count?"

"Oh. Funny. Tell it again."

"Shut up asshole."

"Hn." We stared at each other for a little bit, not really sure what to say. Everything was laid out on the table, and yet now that it was out in the open, we didn't really know where to start. I knew that somewhere during this, I could just see Shikamaru saying 'I told you so'. It was really irritating.

"You better come to my play next week…" I blinked once in pure confusion at his randomness. But I grabbed back some clarity while he stared at my shoulder and blushed, his hands fisted at his sides. "And I don't mean leaving halfway through it. You better stay through the whole thing. And…and buy me something for my performance!"

"What if I had plans?" I sighed, knowing I really didn't have plans. Sakura had already told me that I had to go with her so that she could see Naruto and Lee fight. But I wasn't going to tell him that.

"Cancel them. You're coming to see me."

"Just you?" I asked. He scrunched his nose in thought before he looked up at me, grinning for the first time in six days. It relaxed any strange tension that had been lingering between us.

"You better believe it. Why else would you go?"

"Dobe."

"Teme."

"I guess I'll waste my time seeing it. After all, you die in the end," I said, smirking. He growled for a second before looking away childishly.

"Yea, at least I get to bang a hot girl before I die." I scoffed and moved over to him, placing my fingers under his chin to direct his gaze at me. We both glared despite the few centimeters that separated our lips. I felt his breath hitch, even though we had both just been acquainted in the kitchen. But despite all his protests of not being into guys, he sure leaned in quick to kiss me. It was short, nothing sloppy or romantic. Maybe it was just the frustration of knowing our attraction couldn't be considered friendly. Maybe it was our way of giving this whole 'boyfriend' thing a shot.

I pulled back slowly, and chuckled at his weak growl. Apparently Naruto hadn't been done yet.

"Keep dreaming…'soul mate'," I muttered, pressing my palm into his forehead and pushing him back onto the couch. I smirked at how easily his body fell back onto the sofa, and how quickly the mood changed from sexual to angry.

Soul mates…This could be interesting.

**I bet you all think this is the end, huh? Well its NOT! Well, I mean it MIGHT not be. I know they aren't technically **_**together **_**yet, and we still need to find out if Naruto can pull off the bet and get past his own denial to date Sasuke! Plus, what's going to happen with Ino and Shikamaru? Well I have another chapter planned out for this to show you all if you want it! And yes, I promise there will be a lemon in the next chapter. I just honestly didn't feel like it was made to be in this one. Tell me what you think of the lime though! Jesus Sasuke's POV is much harder than Naruto's. Sorry if I butchered it. The last chapter is going to be in Naruto's POV, mainly because of the content of the chapter. You'll get what I mean if I write it. =P So R&R!**


	3. Till Sasuke do you Part

Hey everyone! Alright, are you all ready for the last part?! Well I've got to do my thank-yous! Gah this is going to take a bit…-scrolls through- **keikeiaznqueen**, thanks for my first review! I hope you like this chapter too! Okay, and for my long list…**Heynick, zerofangirl, ****Itooshii Koneko**, **PhoebeGilmore, Mudkips and me, Lightwings, Moonmoore, and Chiru-lili **, you are all so nice to me and you actually made me get kind of teary with your reviews. **Tarff, **I seriously don't mind if you send lots of reviews –grins-. **Gabriel Schwrbrg, **well yea, I guess he was being a little seductive. And thanks for all of your great reviews. Annnnnnnnd **MascochistandSadist**, I LOVE you guys so much! I'm not going to lie, you made me cry, haha. Oh, and I do write books, btw.

I REALLY hope that you all like this chapter. I worked really hard to get it done as soon as I could. But not too fast, because the ideas took a while longer than the other chaps haha.

**Warning: ****There is a LEMON scene, with boyxboy action! I cannot be help accountable if any of you die of blood loss. Just kidding haha**

**Disclaimer: ****I do not own Naruto. I do not own anything…WHY WHY WHY –cries-**

Till' SasukeDo You Part

"They both die." This was not happening. There was no way. I was just having one of my freakish nightmares that I would soon wake up from. There would be no audience, no spotlight, and no Sasuke ruining my life. I stared up at the guy who now held me to him, staring out at the audience and seeming…_bored?! _Oh that friggen prick.

When I heard the soft murmuring of the crowd in front of me, I had to fight off the complete embarrassment I felt. I glanced to Ino, who now sat upright on the stage and stared at me in both confusion and anger. This was not how it was supposed to go…this was not how it was supposed to go!! I struggled against his hold a bit, desperately trying to think of something that could possibly make this all okay. But I was never the thinker of the group, that wasn't my job! That was Shikamaru's or this idiot's job. But he was too busy destroying the entire play to think.

_How did this happen?! _Oh wait. I knew exactly why my play was dissolving into complete chaos. It was all over a teddy bear.

Well, since I don't want to watch this train wreck in front of me, I guess I can tell you what happened. It started five days ago.

~**~

"Hah…a-ah…." Why was he so good at this? I tried to arch my hips into his mouth, struggling to remember the science lab paper I knew was due in an hour. But honestly, how could anyone concentrate when Sasuke had his mouth wrapped around their dick? I shuddered when his stupid tongue licked the slit of my head. This wasn't fair at all; he must have had experience that I didn't even know about! So when I felt a smirk form around my extremely hard member, I tried to hit him. The stupid bastard was playing with me! "Te-Teme…"

He didn't answer verbally, but easily dipped lower onto my cock to take me completely into his mouth. The pleasure that ran through my spine was undeniably strong. I panted heavily, trying to remember that one year ago, I wouldn't have wanted this. But I had changed when I saw my name on his list last week. I didn't bother trying to pretend he was a girl, because it just dulled the sensations. It wasn't what I wanted anymore. His hands gripped my thighs to keep them open, though I doubted I could have closed them now. This was just too much to walk away from. My face was flushed, and my member was dripping in the most undignified way possible. I really didn't give a flying fuck as long as he sucked my head again.

I weakly parted my gaze to look at the clock. Now I had fifty eight minutes. I groaned, from the time or his fingers gripping the lower half of my shaft I wasn't sure, and glared down at him. But with the way my body was trembling beneath him, the bastard would enjoy it. God I hated him.

"H-Hurry up…you-" I bit my lip hard to keep back my shouting when his pace shot up. His lips stroked me in such a way that even if I wanted to, my hips wouldn't stop moving. I blushed when he sent me an arrogant look and slid his arm over my hips to keep them in place. Damnit! Despite what an ass he was, I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. He was everything I hated. Cocky, annoying, freakishly handsome, smart, and a pervert. Okay, so most of those applied to me, but I could pull them off.

"Didn't write your paper again?" His hand was threatening to finish me off by his controlled caresses. And yet, despite the fact he just had me lodged in his mouth, Sasuke was still functioning perfectly fine. I threw my head back to hide how close I was to finishing.

"S-Shut up…" I snapped out. I heard him snort and his breath breezed over my tip. There was no way I was going to cum; it'd only been three minutes! He was _not _that good.

"Typical." But he played dirty, sliding his tongue slowly along my tip. My stomach muscles cramped up and I couldn't stop his name from bubbling through my clenched teeth. The sharp contrast of his lick and rough hand jerks were too much for my body, and I was sent careening over the edge. I felt nothing but the sweet sensation of my orgasm, something I had unwillingly gotten used to these past couple days. But god, it felt amazing.

Okay, so I lied. He was that good. I fell back hard onto the bed once every part of my orgasm slid through my body, leaving me with a warm numbness. I sighed and closed my eyes, feeling completely ready to call it a day and go to bed. Unfortunately, it was only ten in the morning, and I had class in…

Fifty five minutes.

"You suck," I grumbled out weakly, covering my eyes with my arm. I felt him move off of me, sitting somewhere close on the bed.

"Stop complaining." I weakly shivered at the deep tone in his voice. How did that get to me, even after what he just did? I pushed my arm away to look at him, grinning despite my anger. The one benefit to this who messed up 'relationship' was how disorganized Sasuke looked when he was aroused. His hair wasn't combed or neat and his pale skin did nothing to hide how flustered he was. Sure, he could control his voice fine. But trying to stop physical reactions, like the one that was filling his pants, was a completely different issue. Glancing to said area, I rolled my eyes and grabbed my boxers that had been on me before a certain black-haired idiot decided to 'wake' me up. Even if he was a hard ass, he seemed to find interest in making me cum. Like it was a game for him and I was just some consul for his convenience.

"You couldn't wait until tonight? I have three classes today," I said, glaring over at him. If he cared he didn't show it, shrugging his shoulders. I knew he wasn't going to ask me to help, since his stupid pride got into his way. Sure I didn't either, but then again I wasn't the one who always ended up with the hard on at the end of the game. He stared at the wall in front of us, his legs crossed while one of his hands supported his head. I squirmed a bit, glancing between his impassive face and raging arousal. It had been a four days since the first and only time I got Sasuke off. So mustering up as much courage to extinguish my embarrassment, I spoke. "Hey…uh, jerk….the paper ain't that big of a deal…if you want…I'll…"

"You sound even dumber than normal." God he is such an ass. I growled and crawled over to him, slamming my hand down onto the other side of him. I kept my eyes locked with a black gaze, trying to ignore how close we were. Even after our kitchen...uh…encounter, Sasuke still was the same cold prick. He didn't ask me out. He never called me his boyfriend. He hadn't even admitted he liked me. I'm guessing he didn't feel it necessary. His actions spoke for him.

"You're a real jerk. I'm trying to lend a hand and you're just being stupid. Tell me you want me to help or something!" I shouted. He arched his brow slowly before scoffing.

"No."

"Why not? We're like..." I stopped myself, glancing to my lap and gritting my teeth. He just didn't get it. His entire life, he had been showered with adoration. First from his parents, since he was the youngest child. Then the girls at school wouldn't leave him alone. His birthday was practically a holiday in the town, and all of the stores got a surplus of profit. After his dad died, he got even more affection because of how 'strong' he had been. And despite everything he was shown, this idiot couldn't comprehend how to deal with people. How to deal with intimacy that didn't involve an orgasm.

"Dobe." I scrunched my nose at how superior he sounded, like he owned the world. That was the Uchiha in him. It gave him some type of superiority complex. One I wanted to smack right out of him.

"Whatever, it wasn't like I wanted to." I spat the sentence out like bad food. Shoving away from him, I moved through my clothes in an attempt to find something suitable to wear for my last two classes. I was no longer in the mood to write a paper of any sorts, which meant no class for me. I slammed the draw shut and turned to move to the shower when Sasuke's body pinned me to the dresser. Still feeling miffed at his blunt denial of help, I crossed my arms and looked away from him. If he wanted to play the hard ass, I wasn't going to waste any of my precious times with him. Maybe I wasn't straight, but I could still get any chick or dude I wanted to! And since only females followed him around, he was S.O.L.

"You're acting like a girl." Oh! _I'm _acting like a girl?! He's the one whose stuck pmsing every second of his life! But nooooo, I'm the girl.

"I'm acting like a human. You should try it." I didn't bother to look at him because I knew he could out glare me any day of the year. Another part of his constant PMS.

"You have a paper you need to do, idiot." He pressed two fingers to my forehead, dragging them so I was looking up at him again. Even if I was angry, I could admit that Sasuke looked even hotter up close. And when he wasn't glaring or trying to dissect someone with his gaze, his eyes were very seductive. I stared into them for a few seconds, trying to understand his reason of pointing out the obvious. Maybe I really am too easy to read, because he sighed and spoke again. "The last thing you need is to miss another lab paper. And if you fail, I have to find another roommate. So no, I don't need your help right now."

"So you care about me?" I asked, blinking. Since the teme doesn't have a heart, he sneered and pulled away from me.

"I care about your grades."

"Which is basically saying you care about me."

"Hn."

"Teme! Just say it!" He sent me one more glare before leaning down, placing a hard kiss to my lips. It wasn't the type that people see fireworks for, and my foot sure as hell didn't go up. It was more like aggravation, like Sasuke needed but couldn't say what he meant. He had been taught too much self-restraint. I guess he thought the whole idea of telling me _anything _was just a little too uncomfortable for him, so he just kissed the hell out of me instead. Not that I minded most of the time, since he was pretty good with his tongue. But this time was different.

"I work tonight. Grab something for dinner on the way home." And with that, he had left the room. I licked my lower lip slowly, catching the last taste of him on my lip while I looked to the clothes I had dropped on the ground. Damn, I let him win again. It kind of made the nice taste in my mouth turn bitter. Next time, there was no way I was letting him get away with that! Whether he wanted to or not, he was going to talk to me. I was Uzumaki Naruto, and I wouldn't lose to him.

Oh yea, the Uchiha needed to be brought down. So for three days straight, I did everything I could to get him to open his mouth and _tell, _not show, me what we were. It was the most embarrassing three days I had ever been through. Anytime I would show any type of interest in talking to him, he would kiss me (or sometimes, do a little more than that) and then leave to work or study. It was mentally and physically exhausting.

"Naruto! You're on!" I jumped when our stage manager Tenten pushed me onto the stage. Quickly I recovered from the stumble with my lines, completely forgetting I was in the middle of the second performance of our play. I had been too wrapped up in ways to get Sasuke to say something; I almost was late for the first performance. Yea, Ino ripped me a new one after that. You know, if you people saw how she treated her 'Romeo', you'd be reconsidering the idea of love at first sight. I had to put on twice as much stage make-up to cover the bruise on my face.

This time, I had made sure to get there extremely early. But I just couldn't focus. I hadn't seen the idiot all day, and I knew it wasn't on accident. I should of beat him up when I had the chance, making me miss cues in the biggest performance yet of my college career. Luckily I was able to mentally brood on my own after a little while, because I had to lay 'dead' on the floor for a good five minutes before the play ended. Sure I had Ino laying over me, but she hardly weighed enough to even be noticed. I finally sighed when I heard the curtain shut in front of us, looking up and grinning to Ino.

"No wonder Shika wants you to himself, you're a good kisser." I laughed as she blushed and helped me up, the two of us walking toward the rest of the cast for final bows.

"If he wanted me so much, he would have asked me out when we played that boring Shogi game! He was so focused doing his stupid hand signs, he didn't even notice me!" She glared when I laughed, but I honestly couldn't help it. Especially when she tried to do the hand sign, failing miserably. Shikamaru had always said it was to keep him focused and help him think. But apparently, it made him miss the obvious. Like Ino wearing a low cut shirt for a game she knew she'd have to lean over for.

"Did he get you flowers yet for your performance?" I grabbed her hand along with Lee's as we walked to the stage, smiling and bowing several times. I felt pretty damn special when I heard the crowd, and I swore a heard some girls call my name. Even when I was gay girls wanted me! Of course, they didn't know me or Sasuke were gay…neither did the fangirls that were still camping outside of our dorm room…

Ino sighed when we were finally able to move off of the stage, thanking the cast members congratulating us before she spoke.

"Not yet, and we only have one more performance! This completely sucks. What's the point of being Juliet if my Romeo is gay, my Paris is dating my idiotic best friend, and the tech guy doesn't 'feel' like asking me out? What a drag."

"You know you just said wh—"

"I know what I said!!" I jumped back quickly when the blonde girl snapped. Alright, so this was starting to get serious. Shaking my head quickly, I smiled and wrapped my arm around her shoulder.

"Don't worry about it! Your buddy Naruto has got this all figured out!"

"How? You going to throw him on the stage in your costume and play Romeo?"

"No way! That lazy ass wouldn't die of poison; he wouldn't even bother to go to the ball!" We walked into the dressing room together, moving to our respected areas to get changed. I looked over to the divider and smirked, throwing my shirt over my head. "It'd go from _Romeo and Juliet_ to _Sleeping Ugly_." Then again, Gai was the type to love anything different. We were even lucky that the final death scene was still there. How he managed to get away with it without copyright laws coming to bit him in the ass was a mystery to me.

"So then what's your 'great plan'?" She appeared from her changing area, wearing a pair of black slacks and a white shirt that matched my black one. As a joke, we thought it'd be funny to wear 'I'm with stupid' shirts to the meet and greet, since we both had agreed that our character's deaths were pretty lame. Plus, Shikamaru hated the shirts, whether he admitted it or not.

"Well, I've still got one night to get Sasuke to date someone, right? The last performance is tomorrow, and if I can get him to ask me out, then there's no problem! I'll win the bet, and make Shikamaru ask you out like he should have done months ago." Thought I hadn't really gone public with my change in sexuality, I told my friends. It was strange, but the only one who truly seemed awkward about the situation was Kiba, since we had seen each other half naked tons of times throughout our years of friendship. But once I told him that he was about as cute as the backside of his dog Akamaru, he quickly got over that fear. Shika seemed to already know, and Ino and Sakura instantly saw it as an opportunity to have a gay guy's perspective on life. I don't really think they were happy when they realized I was still as awesomely manly as I was before. And Lee? Just started to exclaim something about the blossoming of a beautiful flower. I wasn't exactly sure if I was the flower he was talking about, but it scared me nonetheless.

"Do you really thing Sasuke will go for that? I mean, no offence Naruto, but he hasn't seemed too happy with you lately." Oh yea. I forgot he had been pretty irritated with my failed attempts to talk. Pretty soon, I was sure he was going to kill me…nah, I'm not worth the jail time.

"Well I'll think of something."

"Oh that's real assuring." I glared at her before I heard the loud crowd awaiting our cast in the meet and greet room. My smile returned when I saw some of my friends from current classes waving to me. I grabbed Ino's wrist and pulled her toward them. "Where are you pulling me?!"

"I want you to meet my friends, duh." And people said I didn't think when I spoke? I shook my head and stopped in front of the group of three. There were two guys and a girl, who seemed to blush whenever guys came in contact with her. It was a little strange, but she was a very sweet girl that never seemed to speak bad about anyone. "Ino, meet my friends from my science class. You know Hyuga Neji and Hyuga Hinata, and this is their friend Abruame Shino. Oh and don't ask him about his glasses, he wears them everywhere."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Yamanaka Ino." She said, smiling cheerfully. Sure, smile for them all nice and sweet. But as soon as we're alone, I just get hit!

"You were very good with your rendition of Juliet." Neji was a theatre kid, even if he didn't participate in the plays. He took tons of theatre classes, and was the school's personal critic. He was completely ruthless and took pride in making fools out of people who couldn't act. Shikamaru made sure to stay far away from him.

"Thanks!"

"Hey, hey! What about me?" I whined. He stared at me for a moment before he shook his head.

"What about you?"

"You're so mean to me," I said, crossing my arms and scowling. Glancing to Shino and Hinata, I traded the look for a grin. "Well you liked it, right?"

"I didn't know the play had a dance scene. Or sequins. " Shino's quiet statements made me laugh, rubbing the back of my head.

"Well you know how Gai sensei is. He thought it would make it seem less tragic." Even though the play was considered a tragedy, the director still wanted youth to blossom or something strange. Apparently, you do that by adding a random ballet scene, and throwing in flashy costumes.

"Uhm…N-Naruto, I think you did well!" Hinata was a freshman this year, so I doubted she had fully gotten used to the school and how extremely crazy it was. She had, after all, come from an all girls' high school. So the sudden surplus of men around her must have been intimidating. It was probably better that she had found Kiba when she did, because he was very protective of anyone who tried to mess with her kindness, or take her for granted. Neji always said that Hinata was too weak and dependent, and shouldn't have been going to college in the first place. Even though he said that, I could tell that he did want her to do well. It was why he pushed her so much to speak her mind or join some type of club. He knew she could do it with a little push. Really he's a softie behind all that evil critiquing.

"Thanks Hinata, I'm glad you liked it." I blinked when I saw something stuffed in her arm, tilting my head in confusion. "Hey, what cha got there?"

"O-Oh!" Wow she really could get dark when she was embarrassed. I wonder if I looked like that when Sasuke…ah, okay, not a good time. So I focused on her hands when they grabbed the fuzzy item and pulled it in front of her, practically into my chest. I had to step back to get a full view of the fluffy teddy bear that now stared up at me with brown eyes. Around its neck was an orange scarf, and the bear was holding a small bouquet of flowers. "It's for you…for your performance! Kiba wanted me to get you something, since he couldn't come until tomorrow."

"Oh thanks Hinata! Nobody has bought me anything yet! I thought you were going with him to the final performance?" I asked, Hinata nodding quickly while I played with the bear. What can I say; I'm a kid at heart.

"Oh yes, I'll be there tomorrow as well. I just volunteered to he-help with the concession stand tonight."

"Well you better get here early because it's going to be packed with our best performance yet!" Ino poked my side and I yelped, quickly glaring over at her.

"You're going to jinx us Naruto. Now you know something bad is going to happen," Ino said, rolling her eyes and sighing.

"Nah, you're way to into superstitions. We'll be fine. How can you mess up dying?" I waved her off before I looked back to Neji, starting to bug him again about my performance. In the end he told me I was 'proficient', but I knew he just didn't want to tell me the truth. We hung out until Ino made me go home, saying that I needed to get my energy back. Like I _ever _ran out of that. So around midnight I popped open my dorm door, slightly surprised to find Sasuke lying on the couch. He was reading again, some book for his English lit class. All that stuff bored me, but he sure seemed to enjoy it.

"You bomb?" Wasn't he just so sweet? I sighed and dropped my stuff onto the desk next to the door, shrugging off my hoodie and tossing it at him while I moved into the kitchen.

"No way, I was awesome! You're going to regret waiting till the last show to come see me. Cause afterwards, you're going to want to see it 100 more times." I heard his snort from the kitchen. Jerk.

"Any play that you and Ino are in, I can only handle seeing once."

"One of these days, you're going to regret keeping that stick in your ass. You've got to have splinters by now."

"Hn." I moved back into the living room with a tray of assorted chips, candies, and a steaming bowl of my favorite ramen. I could tell how disgusted he was by the grimace he sent my arrangement before pulling the book to cover his face again. "Do you ever eat normal food?"

"This is normal for me! I call it the 'Uzumaki Naruto diet to success'!" I slurped some of the ramen into my mouth, moaning at the exquisite taste I hadn't had in almost seven hours. Luckily they let me bring a microwave into the dressing room so I could make some while I got ready for the performance. Hey, everyone deals with nervousness in their own ways. I just mow down on lots and lots of ramen.

"You idiot. You're going to die by the time your thirty."

"Shut up! At least I don't eat like a rabbit!"

"Was that an insult or compliment?" He looked up from his book again, and I stuck my tongue out in rebuttal. Ha, take that you asshole. Just to piss him off, I spoke through the noodles in my mouth.

"I bet I'll live longer than you."

"Whatever you say dobe." I swallowed the noodles before looking back down to bowl. Remembering the conversation I had with Ino, I looked back up to him to speak, only to find him gone. I blinked, crawling over his spot to peer past the arm rest, seeing if he had someone fell over it. Nope, no teme there."What's this?"

"Huh?" I looked up from hi spot to see Sasuke was at the desk, holding the teddy bear in his hand. "It's a teddy bear, stupid."

"From who?"

"Well someone's nosy today," I said. He just frowned before turning his attention back to Hinata's present, holding it as if it were toxic. "What the heck is wrong with you? You've gotten tons of teddy bears throughout the years. Hell, you could sell your collection of eBay."

"It smells."

"It what?" He sighed, as if the burden of repeating himself was too much for his prissy body.

"I said, it reeks. Get rid of it." Alright, Sasuke had officially lost his mind if he thought I was going to listen to anything he said. So in retaliation, I jumped off the couch before snatching the bear away from him, hugging it tightly. Even though I had only had it for a little while, the thing was cute and I really liked it. Plus, I could make fun of Kiba later for getting me such a girly gift.

"No way! It doesn't smell, you're just imagining things. And even if it did, I'd just throw it in the wash." Was it just me, or could Sasuke really be scary when he narrowed his eyes like that? Not that I would ever tell him! The last thing I needed was for the idiot to think I was a wuss.

"I don't like it."

"Yea, well I don't like half the shit you got from your rabid fans, but you don't see me complaining! You're just jealous this one's for me and not you! Well not everyone loves you." I lifted my chin a bit, knowing I sounded way more confident than he liked. Sure, he still had 1000 more fans than I did, but at least I actually cared about Hinata.

"That's different."

"Tell me why? Why is it different when you get your stupid presents? Because it's you? Well I've got news for you asshole; you're not the only one who likes me!" I hadn't meant it in the way I said it. I knew that Hinata and Kiba were being friendly, and liked me in the same way I liked them. I truly wasn't trying to pick a fight. But this stupid Uchiha was so wrapped up in his fantasies that everyone had to like him and not me that I was going to strangle him. So what if I got one present? He made it seem like all of his fans just jumped ship! Well actually he would have been happy if that happened. Then he wouldn't have to deal with them.

There was a short silence between us, filled with nothing but glares. And after a few minutes of this, when I wouldn't back down or release my present, something flared in Sasuke's features. Before I had time to speak, Sasuke had me and the bear pressed into the wall, kissing me. My eyes widened a bit in shock, and he easily gained access to my mouth because of my slacked jaw. He didn't waste time asserting himself into my mouth, sliding a leg between mine and forcing them open. The brushing of his thigh against my body was what finally got me to snap back to my sense and kiss him back. I gripped his shoulders with my fingers while I pressed back into the kiss, making sure I had a tight hold on his shirt before I let my head become hazy with pleasure. Even though my body was beyond tired, feeling Sasuke around me while his tongue battled with mine made it less of a problem and more of an inconvenience.

It was the longest kissing session we had ever shared. Most of the time we barely kissed before he was doing something else to my body to make me lose concentration. But this kiss was completely different. Like he was making sure my lips stayed bruised for the rest of my life. He didn't lessen his pressure or participation, and only pulled back for a second to catch air before kissing me again. I felt overwhelmed because while his mouth fought mine, his leg was rubbing into my arousal in a way that was very pleasing. But I didn't move my hips, because if I did I knew he would take it as an invitation to forget about our talk and do whatever he wanted. Finally the fists I had made in his shirt earlier came to use when I pulled him back, panting. He looked so unaffected by what we did, as if he hadn't just swapped spit with me for the past three minutes.

"What?"

"You can't keep doing that," I growled out, making sure my arms were between us to keep him from kissing me again. The last thing I needed was for Sasuke to make me forget about our argument with a hand job. Yea I know, I sound crazy right? That I wanted to talk instead of have an orgasm was even ridiculous to me. But something _had _to be done. "I keep telling you to talk, and you're just being thick-headed!"

"Some people know when to shut their mouths."

"You're lucky I don't wanna get kicked out of the school for kicking your ass, or you'd be on the ground crying." He rolled his eyes at me, because we both knew that when it came to fighting, we were equally matched. If he was crying, I didn't want to know what I'd be doing.

"Don't waste air by speaking."

"Teme!" He tried to turn away, but I flipped our positions and slammed him hard against the wall. A small part of me was concerned by the force I used, but my anger overrode that quickly. It was his fault if he got hurt! "I'm still talking!"

"Then speak and let me leave." I could feel myself panting from how fiercely my emotions got a hold of me. But Sasuke looked like nothing was wrong. I glanced down at the bear that was between us on the ground, completely oblivious to what it had caused. I felt some of the anger leave my body as I continued to stare down at it, my fingers slowly dislodging themselves from his shirt. I crouched down to pick it up, staying in the position as I brushed it off. Then gradually, I felt myself laugh.

"You're a fucking prick, you know that? You're so…so wrapped up in yourself, and your ego, it makes me sick." My fingers clenched into the teddy bear, keeping my gaze away from him. It seemed somehow I had gained something from Sasuke, because I could now tell when he watched me too. We were connected by an unbreakable thread from the very beginning, I just never noticed it. "Everybody knows you. Uchiha Sasuke, total heartthrob of the school or whatever title they give you. All I wanted to do was get you a girlfriend so they would just shut up. And this is how it turned out.

"Yea, maybe I'm not as smart or cool as you. Maybe I don't have every girl trained to jump when I arch and eyebrow or walk down the hall. I don't care. You can have that. At least I can tell people what I feel, and not…not hide behind some stupid front!" I swallowed after I raised my voice, not knowing why I was rambling. But even if it didn't make sense in my head, my mouth wouldn't stop. But I guess that's normal for me, or so Sasuke always says. "I…I like…you…and I don't know why. But I do. And this whole thing is new to me. I didn't know I was fucking gay three weeks ago. Hell, I don't even know if I am now. But I like a stupid, pricky, ice cold, teme. At least I know that."

Silence. The thing that Sasuke was best at. It was soon followed by footsteps, and the closing of Sasuke's bedroom door. I didn't move from my spot for what seemed like hours, although the clocks accused me of stretching ten minutes. But when I did get my body working, it felt like lead. Slow, lethargic, completely useless. I almost wanted to laugh at what was going on.

But I'm pretty sure I cried instead.

~**~

"Is something wrong, Naruto?" I blinked and looked up at Ino, smiling at the realization that I could still see concern in her face despite all of the make-up. I laughed and nodded, getting a scolding look from the make-up applier for moving so much. So I kept my head still again, trying to not get on her bad side.

"Just sad it's our last performance. I've really liked working with this cast." And it was true. It was probably one the best cast I had ever been with, and even though the play itself was a little skewed, being Romeo wasn't half bad.

"Well don't worry, I already peeked out at the crow and it's massive! I'm glad Sakura got her tickets earlier or else she would have never gotten in. I saw her and Sasuke; they're already in their seats." I almost moved again in shock. Sasuke still had come? It was strange, because neither one of us had said a word to the other since last night. I had actually left the door room early because I didn't like the awkward silence that kept rearing its ugly head. That thing needed to get beaten down with a baseball bat.

"She'd never miss watching you poison yourself. She'll probably cheer when you die, so you better not 'revive' and jump into the crowd," I said, closing my eye for the weird crap the girl was putting on it. I didn't really mind stage make-up, but it sure was a pain to get on. Luckily I didn't have to do it myself, because they paid people to do it for the guys. Well, all except Lee who somehow seemed to know every piece of make-up there was. And here I thought I was supposed to know this stuff. Just goes to show that stereo-types really don't mean shit.

"Maybe I'll convince Gai to change it so I can randomly poison an audience member." It was so nice knowing that they were best friends. Then again, the idea of following her lead didn't seem so bad. Especially thinking about one silent teme. Before I could let those sobering thoughts get to me, the call for places was announced. I thanked the make-up girl before letting Ino drag me to my spot, despite the fact I wasn't even in the opening part until later. Still, it was amusing to hear the insults that the scene had, despite the fact that most people didn't understand them. I say hear because my eyes were constantly moving back to Sasuke, sitting two rows from the front. Even though I was the one who had forced him to go, now I wasn't sure if that was such a great idea.

But I didn't have a choice in the matter. Leaving any thoughts that 'Naruto' would have, I gracefully stepped into character and moved through the play with ease. I didn't look at the crowd once while I was on stage, but hidden behind the curtain I watched Sasuke for any type of reaction or movement. All throughout the first four scenes, Sasuke seemed impassive to whatever Sakura would whisper, or any of the comedic scenes. So in the end, my words didn't get through to him.

Well, at least until the fifth scene. I had been so wrapped up in the whispered compliments from my other cast mates that I didn't have time to sneak back to look at Sasuke. And on the stage, it was impossible. Between me and Lee's dramatic fight, and the two huge chunks of lines I had before I died, I had my hands full. So kneeling down next to Ino, or Juliet, I took the cup of 'poison' and drank it. Really it was tasty fruit punch, but who needed to know that but me and Ino anyways?

"O true apothecary!

Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die." And as I bent down to kiss my 'true love', I closed my eyes…no,wait. I didn't close my eyes at all; there was just something over them. I blinked once against the object on my face, growing worried when I heard the whole crowd gasp. Well, most did. But faintly, I could hear giggles and whispers from the girl population of the crowd. Just what the hell was going on?!

"Hn. Yea right, dobe."

"Sa-Sasuke?!" I felt myself being lifted from my knees, the hand gone to reveal that it was, in fact, the one idiot that would dare ruin my last scene as Romeo. Realizing that he had easily picked me up from behind my thighs, I growled and quickly tried to get out of his arms. "Let me go you idiot! You're ruining everything!"

"It's not like it matters." As if to prove his point, he glanced out at the crowd and sighed. "They both die."

And hello again! You've caught up to the here and now. Congrats! You can freak out with me.

"Uchiha Sasuke, what are you doing up there?!" I glanced down at the audience to see Sakura standing up, her hands placed on her hips and glaring at him. "I got to the bathroom for one minute and look what you do!

"Yea!" I shouted, nodding my head quickly at her scolding.

"You ruined a perfectly good chance for Ino to get killed! I ask for one moment in this play, and you have to go and ruin it."

"What?!" Oh great. Now Juliet was back from the dead, standing up and glaring at the audience. Throwing her finger toward Sakura, Ino started to stomp her foot on the stage. "You big forehead!"

"Stupid Ino-pig!"

"Oh! Well why don't you come up here and say that?!" Laughter exploded in the audience as Sakura stumbled her way toward the stage, Ino starting to toss off the jewelry that she was wearing for the play. Watching the entire scene evaporate in front of me while Paris also resurrected himself to stop the girls from killing each other, I glared back at the boy who started the whole thing.

"You did this!"

"Hn."

"That's all you have to say?! You stupid idiot! I'm so kicking your ass once I get down."

"Shut up." And suddenly, the entire auditorium fell quiet. Both girls had stopped trying to get past Lee. The only thing in the entire room that moved was Sasuke's mouth when it licked my lips to open them. My body completely froze up. I sat in Sasuke's arms, in front of hundreds of people, cameras recording us, while he kissed me. It was horrible. It was terrifying. And when he nipped at my lower lip, it was _hot_. I closed my eyes and kissed him back, knowing somehow that this was better than any admission I could have gotten from him. I barely had time to wrap my arms around his neck before he dropped me back to my feet, pulling apart from the kiss and looking down at me. Even thought it took a few seconds to re-open my gaze, I could tell he was watching me. So once I finally did get control of my body, he nodded and looked out the crowd with that same bored stare.

"Nobody give him presents." …THAT was why he did it?! I was about to strangle him before he continued. "He's mine."

"Sasuke, you were supposed to wait until dinner to tell him!" Sakura snapped from behind me. For once, I wanted to tell her to shut up. Two words. How did he make two words equal what two paragraphs took me to tell him? Those two words answered everything I wanted him to. Did he like me? Yea. Did he want to go out with me? Apparently, since he was under the impression that I was his (even though there was NO way Uzumaki Naruto would ever be owned by him). Did he ask me out? Not really, but I guess that'd have to wait for later. Either way, I had a feeling he assumed I was his boyfriend.

"What a drag." I jumped when I looked to see Shikamaru move onto the stage, and could only stare in shock at the renaissance clothes he had been fit into. Somehow, they really made him look good. He sent a bored glance to Sasuke before sighing loudly, showing how badly he didn't want to be there. "I've just got to kiss her, right? And then I can sleep on the stage?"

"Wha—hey!" I struggled when Sasuke dragged me toward the backstage, glancing back to call for help. But even I became speechless when I saw the less than motivated boy kissing Ino on stage before lazily falling onto his back and closing his eyes. I didn't get to see what happened after that, because the curtain fell in my way. I hardly had time to get my bearings when I realized that Sasuke was pulling me toward the gymnasium. "Sasuke!"

"What?" Even when he spoke, he was busy unlocking the gym door to push it open. How he got the keys I'd never—oh wait, one of the janitors was a girl. That made sense now.

"W-What the hell do you think y-you're doing?!" There was a moment of silence as the door behind us clicked shut, leaving us in complete darkness. I could barely make out his face, and the smirk that curled his lips.

"Claiming what's mine." I felt his hands pull me towards him, and our lips were connected again. I barely bit back a moan while his hands pulled my belt away from my body. I felt around for a moment, grasping onto his neck and kissing him harder while his fingers continued to slowly peel the costume off. His lips found my pulse and sucked, making my eyes close. I could feel the coldness of the room brush against my bare chest, the clothes dropping behind us. I huffed out a hot breath while his fingers skimmed against my nipples.

"W-what…fu-fuck….idiot we ca-cant just…" What was I trying to argue again? What little brain I had left was easily fogged up when his mouth encased my nipple and sucked. I forced my knees not to drop me, using Sasuke's shoulders as anchorage to keep me up. He smirked, something that felt strange against the rougher skin, before he darted his tongue along the bud. Damnit there went my knees.

"Too easy." Now was that comment really needed? I only grunted in response, finding some revenge in biting the side of his neck and sucking. I yelped when two cold hands cupped my bare ass, hoisting me up in a way that had my legs immediately wrapping around his torso. Now where the hell was he walking to?

"Je-Jesus your hands are cold," I muttered along his skin, delighted in the small shivering I had created from my work. I intended to pull his shirt off, but he suddenly dropped me a couple inches down. I blinked a bit as I looked around, the material underneath us not feeling like the gym floor. It was moveable, for one, and it was some flimsy type of material tha—"Gah!"

"Stop thinking, you'll cause brain damage." Despite the need to fight back, my body was completely ignoring my head when his fingers dipped down to catch my semi-aroused member in his palm. The coldness against my skin was torture, and I gripped whatever was underneath me. I leaned my head back, breathing through my nose to keep the noises from coming out while skilled fingers stroked my sensitive arousal. His thumb dabbled in the pre-cum, rubbing the slit in a circle and driving me insane with the pleasure. Already the air around us was becoming much hotter than before, and my hips were starting to buck to meet his hand.

The arm around my waist was much easier to deal with when I couldn't see his daunting smirk. I growled at bit at the thought, but it morphed into a heavy moan once a hot wetness slicked my cock from the base up to the tip. It was enough to make my back arch straight off whatever I was on. The hand had disappeared to somewhere I couldn't feel. Don't worry; his mouth was a fantastic substitution. I could start to feel the sweat dripping along my forehead, probably making a line in the make-up I wore. The room was too hot now, and my body felt ready to burst at the knowledge of how public this was. So I bit my arm quickly when I knew a groan was coming, his mouth tightening suddenly before sucking my entire member into his mouth. The cum was rushing through me, and I was ready to let go when he pulled back quickly. So close to the edge, my entire body jerked in protest.

"F-Fuck! What the he-hell Sasu—" I froze when his eyes appeared in front of mine. But it wasn't that causing my body to tense. It was the slick digit that had just brushed the one area Sasuke hadn't gone near yet. I felt my body twitch, the feeling more pleasurable than I expected. Course, it wasn't actually inside yet.

"Dobe." I knew I looked away when he spoke. Because I knew what he was really saying was 'get ready, because I'm going to fuck you right here'. I wasn't sure how I felt about that yet, especially when the tip of his finger invited itself into my entrance.

"W-Wait!" I snapped, closing my eyes tightly. This was extremely new. No, I wasn't a virgin. But that didn't mean I was okay with the idea of this. I knew my swallow was loud enough for Sasuke to hear, because he leaned down slowly and pulled my ear into his mouth. My eyes shot open and I felt my body jerk back in pleasure, slightly pressing the finger deeper inside of me. Well, that didn't hurt. Somehow he knew what I was thinking, because his finger didn't stay idle. Despite how uncomfortable this entire situation was, my legs spread for him. The appreciation was shown by a second finger, which burned all the way up my spine. I needed to distract myself, or else I was going to stop this right away. So when the fingers slightly parted to stretch my entrance, I quickly grabbed his hair and pulled him down to kiss me.

Our teeth hit for a second from the speed I started the kiss with, but I didn't care. He didn't seem to either, because the fingers never slowed and his lips kept answering mine. It wasn't the best solution for distracting me, which I soon found out after the third digit slid in with his other lubricated friends. But before I could get away, Sasuke's other hand grabbed onto my member, stroking it in time with the thrusts of his fingers. The feeling was painful and erotic at the same time, and I found myself staring above us with half open eyes, my body jerking with each smooth hand motion. So it was no surprise I shouted at the shock of pleasure shooting through my body. It was intense, so intense that after the second jolt of pleasure, I quickly grabbed his wrist and tried to catch my breath from the feeling. He seemed to take that as a sign of approval, because the three fingers slid out of my body and left me feeling an awkward emptiness. It didn't last long, because something else now slid into me. I didn't have time to tense, which I would find out later was exactly why he did it. I sure did scream a lot of incoherent swears though. Because it still stung, and it still felt strange, and he still didn't ask if he could even do it!

"Ba-Bastard…"

"Hn." I felt his fingers slide to my hips, pressing them back a bit before starting to move. The few minutes of my swearing did make the pain dull, and now I could stand to have him inside of me. I closed my eyes tightly, amazing myself at how quickly my body switched from pleasure to pain. It was two angled thrusts that suddenly changed my grunts to moans, and made my toes curl around the edge of whatever we laid on. My arms moved on their own, one grabbing above my head while the other grabbed his cheek. Maybe it was to remind myself that this was Sasuke's body that was thrusting into me, and that I was willingly rocking my hips back into his hands. The pace was too slow and too fast. I wanted to cum right then, and keep that feeling of bliss going forever.

Fucked and being fucked are two completely different feelings. And the prideful part of myself didn't want to admit that I was enjoying sex much more this time around.

"A-ah!" I knew I was the screamer of the two of us, but I still tried not to do it a lot. It was kind of hard to avoid when he lifted my hips with his hands, hitting the spot from before that completely shocked me. The constant pounding against my prostate (I say that now even though I had no idea before) was too much for my body. It convulsed before my orgasm seized hold of me, completely blocking out all of my senses. Except, oddly, my ears, which heard how perfectly lame I moaned his name, while he mumbled mine into my ear. It was thrilling none the less, knowing the jerky motions that were being shoved inside of me were from the normally composed Uchiha Sasuke. I rode my orgasm as long as I could, no longer caring who or what heard us.

Finally, the heavy breathing of exercise filled the air as it normally did in the gym. But this work-out was _much _more interesting. He kept his arms braced around me, making sure his body didn't squish mine. Or maybe he just didn't want to seem weak. Either way, it gave me time to gain control of my body. And my questions.

"H-How'd you…get Shika…to do that?" Yup, probably not the best idea to bring another guy up after having sex. But my mind was still foggy from our play, and it was the first thing that popped into my head.

"Shut up." Ha! He sounded just as tired as I did! Feeling the pride of wearing him out, I reached up and pushed his side, watching him eventually fall over to lie next to me. My eyes were adjusting better to the area around us, and I could finally tell what we were laying on. Sasuke had somehow gotten one of the wrestling mats from the closet, and thrown one of our sheets onto it. It didn't cover it completely, but it was enough for us two. And it made sure that none of our mess ended up staining the mat. Looking to the side, I realized he had also brought a change of clothes for each of us, along with towels and a bottle of lube. Just throw in some food and we'd be camping instead of fucking.

"You planned all of this?" Well that was a dumb question. He made it clear he agreed by sending me a look that clearly said 'why are you wasting my time speaking'? Oh yea, I was getting so good at the Uchiha language, that I could decipher sentences. "You pervert."

"Hn." He rolled away from me, grabbing the clothes that were his before tossing me my stack along with a towel. I looked at his body when he stood, and frowned when I came to realization that Sasuke had kept all of his clothes on. He had just moved his pants and boxers when needed.

"Hey! Why the hell did I have to get naked if you didn't even bother?!"

"Because I was not fucking someone in tights." And with that, he walked over toward the showers. I blinked for a second, before falling back onto the mat in pure laughter. Sasuke would have sex on a mat where sweaty guys in spandex had groped each other for hours, and yet he couldn't bear the thought of tights? What the hell was wrong with him?!

"You're so messed up in the head teme!" I finally got control of my laugher and grabbed my clothes. Pushing to stand up, I winced and stumbled at the ache in my ass. Great, now I was gonna look funny when I walked. I limped my way over to Sasuke, who was holding the door to the shower room open. And of course, he couldn't control the smirk and little slip of a comment while he followed me toward a shower.

"Least I'm not limping." Oh sure, _now _he talks.

~**~

There had been one good thing about the entire month from hell. I had finally beat Shikamaru in something. Since Sasuke had claimed me as his, he officially became a boyfriend, and therefore was dating. That meant that my plan to get Ino together with Shikamaru was in the bag. And yes, it did happen. Just…not the way I wanted it to.

"What do you mean I lost!? Do you think I _like _limping like this!" I shouted as I slammed my hands down onto the table in front of us. It was the day after the play, and my ass was currently sitting on an ice pack to try and sooth the pain. Because Sasuke just had to do it again in the shower before I could go see my cast. By the end of the night, you would have thought someone had just beaten the shit out of me by the way I was walking.

"Don't yell," Shikamaru mumbled, leaning on the table and sighing softly. We were sitting in one of the college's restaurants, waiting for Ino and Sasuke to get out of their seminar.

"How on earth could I have lost? I got Sasuke a date! He's my boyfriend."

"Exactly."

"Huh?" Slowly Shikamaru opened one of his eyes, looking up at me and sighing.

"I said girlfriend. You're not a girl. Therefore, you're not his girlfriend." Oh what the hell. That wasn't even fair! Sasuke didn't like girls.

"He's _gay_. How can I get him to go with a girl if he's gay?"

"Hence why I said it was impossible." I clenched my fists together in an effort not to break the table in half. This was all Sasuke's fault. If he had just been straight, I could have won so easily. But a stupid technicality ruined everything.

"This is dumb! All I wanted you to do was ask Ino out! She really likes you, and you're just sitting here like she's not going anywhere. Well I got news for ya Nara, she's pretty well known around the school and she could get any guy she wanted to. You're lucky she even wants you after the stunts you've been pulling!"

"Duh. I know that."

"Then why won't you do something about it?!"

"Because Ino shouldn't be with a guy like me." Well that wasn't his normal response. It was always something dumb like, 'it's too troublesome to ask' when all he had to do was open his mouth. "Ino's not average. She's troublesome. She's loud. She's beautiful. She's fun and exciting. And I'm just average. That's all I've ever wanted to be, and I don't like how she's making me change that. Like acting. I hate acting. But once Sasuke said I'd get to kiss her, I did it. And it was a drag, but worth it. She's someone that brings out the best in people, even if they don't want to. So she needs to be with a guy who won't weigh her down."

"S-Shikamaru…" I could tell how shocked he was when Ino's voice entered the conversation. For once he sat up at normal speed, which was impressive for him. The two looked at each other for a moment, Ino's tears welling in her eyes from the excitement of knowing the truth.

"Aw man, don't cry." Shikamaru hit his forehead before standing up to stop her tears. Ino didn't wait for him, quickly diving into his body and hugging him tightly. The two stumbled back into the side of the booth, Ino not letting go of him.

"You really think I'm pretty?" She muffled into his shirt.

"I guess." He said, shrugging a bit afterwards. She continued to cry against him, her tears being absorbed by his shirt. He seemed to fight with himself for a moment before his body completely relaxed, placing his chin on top of her head. "Jeeze. Troublesome girl."

"Lazy boy," She muttered back, her hold on his body tightening. I could still hear the tears in her voice, but I had a good feeling about this. Now that Ino knew exactly why Shikamaru didn't want to ask her out, that it was faults of his own and not her, there was no _way _she'd let him go.

I glanced over when I saw Sasuke drop down next to me, staring at Shikamaru and Ino before arching an eyebrow.

"Shikamaru told her the truth…unintentionally," I said, shrugging. He seemed to accept that idea before he glanced to the food in front of me, scoffing.

"Ramen again?"

"You leave me alone! I can hardly walk straight because of you, and I'll eat as much ramen as I damn well please!" As if to prove my point, I poured the rest into my mouth. Instantly the warmth of the soup eased the pain in my body. "Ramen should become a medicine, because it sure relaxes the body."

"And clogs the arteries."

"No wonder you're going to be an archeologist. You're obsessed with death."

"Makes good money."

"Pain in the ass…and I mean both ways." He shrugged and glanced back to Shikamaru and Ino, Ino somehow managing to coax a kiss from her soon-to-be boyfriend.

"Should have known she would eventually break him." I blinked at his odd statement. Falling for the bait, I took one last sip of my ramen before turning to him.

"Why do you say that?" He smirked and leaned forward, licking a line of broth that had dribbled down my chin. Placing a possessive kiss to my lips, he pulled back and waited for me to focus again to answer.

"You can only run away from your 'soul mate' for so long, dobe."

**The end! Well? What did you think? I'm not going to lie, I'm nervous. I hope that I tied up all of the loose strings. Extra credit if you can guess what line I stole from the previous chapter. Oh! I do just wanna say this before I get 100000 angry messages. Some of you may be thinking that I made Naruto OOC because of the part where he admits he likes Sasuke and has that long speech. BUT in my honest opinion, Naruto's the biggest talker in the entire show, and he really does preach a lot to the other characters. And then when that doesn't work, he beats the crap out of them. There's actually a funny picture that goes with my idea, here's the link:**

**.com/albums/o168/Tsunade-chan/Funny%20Naruto%20pics/Naruto_Fan_**

**I have had so much fun writing this story. You all were so sweet to me, and I am actually going to start up another story! I think it's a pretty original idea, so I'm going to add another chapter to 'bite' and then I'll start the new one-shot (which you all know won't be a one shot). So I hope that I'll hear from you all! Let me know that you think! =) Bye!! ~*Niki*~**


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